When there's nothing left to say just say it!
by lo-love-last
Summary: jude is just back from her first tour and she loved every minute of it. but jamie never happend before she left and there is only one guy she can't wait to get back to....and trust me its not darrius!
1. Back Ground info!

sorry have changed this alittle just to work with where the stories going. it shouldnt be to confusing though, i hope, sorry guys!!i'm indecisive hehe!

Ok so this is my first fan fic so apologies in advance if its awful.

Back ground info

Everything happened in season one with Tommy and Jude and shay. Jamie and Jude never kissed at the end but he has broken up with Kat and he does have a hopeless crush on Jude. He has told her and thats not gonna go so well.

Speid and Jude are just friends

Sadie isn't with Kwest…. yet …hmmm. And she does like Tommy.

Ok think that's it.

O Jude is almost 17 when she gets back.

Thanks for read and please review and let me know what you thought!!

I DON'T OWN INSTANT STAR OR ITS CHARACTERS OR THE SONGS I WILL USE IN THIS FAN FIC!


	2. Running Back!

The sky was lightening slowly outside of the smeared windows

The sky was lightening slowly outside of the smeared windows. The bus rattled as it crossed the bridge.

_Almost there, _this was the only thought running over over in the head of the girl sat pressed so close to the glass of the bus windows. She glanced at the digital clock close to the ceiling. It glared the time at her in green digits, 5:00. The journey seemed to take forever because all she really wanted was to be back. Back to her home, her life and back to him.

5:16 the minutes had crawled by. Jude stood up and then sat back down and continued to stare at the clock. She was not the most patient of people at the best of times.

"Dude" A tall scruffy but cute looking guy slumped down next to Jude. "Home ward bound. So, glad to be back to reality?"

"I can't wait to sleep in my own bed." She laughed quietly back. "Now I love touring as much as the next girl but a month and a half of you that's enough to put any one off." She patted him patronisingly on the head.

" We all know the real reason you're so glad to be home…Lord Squinty Frown himself!" he threw back at her.

Jude glared at him but refrained from further arguing mostly because she was tired and had already had this conversation many times over the weeks. But in the pit of her stomach she new she didn't want to deny it.

Jude's life had changed a lot in the last year. She had gone from an ordinary well ish girl to rock star almost over night. She wouldn't change any of it for the world but sometimes the dream life was harder than it looked. She flipped red hair out of her face as the bus stopped. This was it. The moment she wanted so desperately to arrive was here and all of sudden nerves swept threw her.

Out on the street Tommy smiled as he saw the bus pull up. He had been stood leaning on his car door for quite a while, not that he would tell Jude this, just waiting. The bus door clicked and swung open automatically and there she was.

Jude stepped out careful not to trip, clumsy as she was. She stretched her arms and breathed in deeply. Three guys hopped of the bus after her chasing each other and shouting. She turned towards their cries and spotted him, over the far side of the parking lot. She really had missed him.

He watched as she stepped out. A cascade of red hair fell down past her shoulders. It was longer than he'd remembered and curled beautifully down her back. She stretched gracefully, not aware of the effect this had on him.

He caught her eye as she looked across to him and smiled. She was grinning as she walked over to him.

"Well girl" he said softly though she heard him perfectly. "Glad to back?" at this Jude hugged him fiercely. " I'll take that as a yes" he said breathlessly.

" Mr Quincy" she faked a posh accent. "It's been a while"

"Too long girl" he laughed. With that they walked back to the bus to collect luggage and stashed it in the trunk. Jude hugged the three guys at their car and followed Tommy to his. She got in and they took off, with Jude excitedly explaining her summer the whole journey.

The blue viper pulled up to the Harrison house and Jude undid her seat belt.

" I'm glad you came to get me, it's not been the same with you hounding me constantly about work" Jude said punching him playfully on the arm. "I suppose I should go in. mom's cooking pancakes as a welcome home, mmm real food."

Tommy laughed at her. "Pancakes hey? Well have fun I know they have missed you. I'll see you tomorrow. We have a lot to sort out down at G major there have been a few changes while you were gone. Don't worry!" he said at the look on her face, " it's not that bad. Go. Sleep. See you in the morning nine o'clock" he reminded her again as he knew she was always late.

Jude slid out of the car "you bet ya". She retrieved her bags and headed to the door. Before she had turned around to wave Tommy smiled to him self. He was glad she was back.


	3. Never Give Up

**hey all **

**thanks for ya reviews it rele helps as im kinda new to all this!!**

**hope you enjoy this next chapter!!**

**please review some more thankies lo xoxo**

* * *

Jude pushed the glassed double doors open and smiled. Even though her worst and best times had always been in here she wouldn't change any thing. G major was in full hustle and bustle. The phones were ringing, people were chatting and hastily crossing the lobby. Jude crossed the floor and barely reached the studio doors when she heard her name.

"Jude Harrison" a tall black man with a bold head and out stretched arms stood in the door way of an office. "Welcome back!"

"Darrius?" Jude headed over to him. "How are you?" "What are you doing here?" she looked at him throughly confused.

"Well as I own the place I find my presents is often expected in MY office!" he emphasising his words looking fierce yet calm.

Jude looked around her. The place she had come to know so well had definitely changes. The walls were plastered with gold albums and signed posters of hip-hop artists and legends. The furniture was stylish and sparklingly new. She wondered how she could have missed this at her entrance.

"G major is yours? Where's Georgia?"

"Times change Jude. G major is gonna be huge now under the right management and you…" Jude turned quickly back to face Darrius. "Are gonna be incredible. You're very important to us Jude, part of the family. But a few things are gonna have to change." He suddenly looked less welcoming and pretty damn scary in Jude's eyes. " Now I think your producer is waiting for you" Darrius pointed over to the large studio Jude had earlier been heading for. " You two have a lot of work to do!"

With this Darrius turned back in to his office, silently dismissing her. Jude turned and headed for the glass doors.

"Darrius?" Jude shouted at Tommy. " G major? When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?"

Tommy removed his headphones and stood to face the pissed off looking girl staring back at him.

" Look I knew you wouldn't like it and I didn't wanna throw everything at you at once. You've only just got back." Tommy tried to look very sympathetic and hoped Jude would handle this he really wasn't ready for a full diva fit this early in the day.

"You could have given me a bit of a warning!" Jude tried to stay annoyed but it was hard with look in his eyes. She avoided staring straight in to his face but could feel her anger breaking into a smile. "you're a serious pain in the butt Quincy." She laughed in spite herself.

They spent the rest of the morning chatting about her trip and planning there next song. Darrius wasn't going to let them ease back in to things, he wanted a hit and fast. Jude and Tommy both needed to impress their new boss, as no one knew what the future held. And whatever D said about their 'family' they both knew that he could drop them in an instant, a life changing one that Jude wished to avoid.

"So girl" Tommy said getting Jude's attention from her journal. They were still working in the studio, Tommy playing with different beats and Jude with her head in her book. "I'm shocked, it's been what six hours since you got her and you haven't begged me to listen to a single new piece. What ya hiding?" he said the last part jokingly but before she even realised Jude look up worried. She shut her journal quickly and stared at Tommy trying to regain a calm uninterested state.

"Well how do you know I have anything new for you?" Jude smiled.

"Because I know you." Tommy answered simply. " I know you cant go a week with out putting pen to paper let alone six and I know that every time you do you come out with something amazing."

Jude bit her lip nervously. It was true she had written a ton of stuff while on tour. Some good and some just to pass the time. But she knew that Tommy would want to hear every thing and there was one, one song, one deep filled song she couldn't let him hear.

" Well I suppose there were a few." She finally replied. "but I don't I feel like starting fresh. That times sort of past. I don't know I just feel I wanna break out dive in to something brand new and now." This part was true but she also thought this would be some thing as an artist and producer Tommy would accept.

"Ok girl lets she what ya got in you." Tommy smiled. And Jude happily returned it. She got up and headed for the sound booth grabbing her acoustic on her way. Tommy couldn't help his smile widening as soon as he thought she wouldn't notice. There was just something in her eyes that got him every time. He just couldn't help but loose himself in her every look. But he knew he had to get a hold of himself. Jude was his artist and she was only sixteen. Damn he hated the way she got to him so much but knew, even more after the last weeks with out her, that it was something he could never give up.


	4. Not so truthful with my friends!

**Hey all thanks to those who have reviewed glad uou like it. So i have the next few chapters ready and will be uploading them pretty soon so watch out for them! hope you like this i know its not that long. Sorry. thought it was better to leave it here ready to look back in the next one. please review it really helps. Thanks again all!!**

After a couple of hours passed Jude and Tommy gave up for the day. They hadn't really come up with much. But it was only the first day after all, they had a bit of time. Besides as far as Jude was concerned, spending more time with Tommy working on a song was close to perfection; her two favourite things together. She could truly lose her self to the emotion of the music when she was with him. Even Darrius couldn't deny that they were a team to be reckoned with.

"You coming" Jude quickly came back to reality at his voice. She hadn't even noticed he had got up to leave.

"Yeah, coming" she answered quietly. He smiled, it loved that about her. She could be in a room full of people and still be complete engrossed in her own thoughts, own ideas. She was a dreamer and in his life he needed some one that could still dream.

" Could you drop me at Jamie's place? I still haven't seen him since I got back." Jude asked as tommy drove closer to her street.

" You live about three seconds from him!" he laughed at her request. "Difference from dropping you at your house to his would be?" he glanced over to her, she tilted her head to look at him squinting in the bright setting sun.

"Drop me at mine and I will probably get ambushed within about ten seconds. Haven't seen my dad yet either." She continued as an answer to his unspoken question. It was amazing the conversation they could have at just a glance. She knew him so well. It was nice to know some one cared enough to get to know about him.

"Sure" he smiled as he pulled close to the curb outside of the Andrew's house. "Pick you up tomorrow?" Jude had already opened the door and hoped out reaching down for her bag.

"Yeah sure" she answered. "Around nine"

"Nine o'clock girl we have a lot to do." Tommy said in a mock stern voice.

"That's what I said" Jude replied with a scathing look.

Tommy replied with one of his own. "Your 'around' times are always about an hour off. " Jude punched him playfully on the arm. "Ouch!" Tommy yelped pretending to be hurt.

"Well you deserved that and fine nine it is." she threw him once last glowing smile and stood back from the car.

"Nine it is" Tommy repeated. God she looked beautiful. Her hair framed her pale face perfectly and her clear blue eyes glistened. Tommy found it hard to tear his eyes away but he had to go. "See ya later girl" and with that he sped off down the street. Jude waved and watched him slowly disappear down the street until the car turned as was out of site. She stood there for a few seconds, not really thinking about him but not really wanting to lose the picture of his smile that reach deep into his eyes as he looked at her.

Jamie stood at the window watching the scene play out right in front of his eyes. He had seen Jude arrive and went to head for the door. Then she had moved out of the car and he saw who she was with. She had only been back a day and there he was. The anger deep with in him was bubbling dangerously close to the surface. He watched, as she played with her hair as she spoke, watched as she laughed and joked with him. God he hated that guy. He turned away and heard the car leaving. What was he doing? He was over Jude…right? He needed to be over Jude!

"I'm so not over her" Jaime admitted to himself and bowed his head in defeat. Who was he kidding? He would never get over her. How could he. He loved her and everyone knew it. Shannon knew it, look what happened there. "Arrg!" Jamie shouted to himself in frustration. His summer had gone so well until three days ago. That was when he realised she was coming back. She was leaving the tour and heading home. And since that moment all he wanted was to see her, and now he had he wished he hadn't.

There was a loud knock at the door. Forgetting Jude had just been stood outside, as he was lost in thought Jamie went over automatically and pulled the door open. His heart skipped a beat. There she was, on his doorstep smiling from ear to ear.

"Jamie" she breathed out. She dropped her bag of her shoulder and hugged him. "God I have missed you!" she mumbled in to his shoulder. Jamie didn't return the hug but she didn't seem to notice. She stood back and looked up into his eyes still smiling. Jamie quickly snapped out of his mood he couldn't deal with this right now. She had no idea what she was doing to him. No idea how hard it was to not shout in her face there and then. That's when it hit him, hit him hard square in the chest. He hated her. He hated to look at her to hug her and smile at her and pretend he felt nothing. He hated pretending that friends were enough for him. He couldn't do it. This summer had proved something to him that had been a long time coming. He loved Jude and she didn't love him. Not like that. And if the summer apart had proved any thing it was

this, he was better of with out her!

'So how was your summer any thing excited happen while I was gone?' Jude looked up to his face and her smile vanished instantly. He looked sad, no wait not sad angry…really angry. He eyes never quite met hers but glance awkwardly over her head. 'Earth to Jamie, What's up?' Jude asked her voice full of concern.

'Jude I gotta go Nanna is making dinner. Sorry. I talk to you later.' Jamie went to shut the door and Jude stopped it quickly.

'Jamie what's happened. Are you ok?' Jude was worried about her friend he looked so uncomfortable and still wouldn't look at her. She knew when she left that things had gotten a bit weird between them but he was Jamie. Normal, safe, everyday Jamie. He was her rock and now something was just different. He was different. She could also tell it wasn't just that he was upset or angry about something, he was angry at her. The look in his eyes gave him away. After all these years she'd never seen that look aimed at her. What was going on?

'I'm sorry. I can't do this. Bye Jude!' with that he slammed the door shut and the porch light flicked off. Jude stood motionless for, well she couldn't tell, it could have been seconds or hours. Her mind was racing. What had just happened here in front of her? How could so much change in just six weeks?

**REVIEW PLEASE!!**

**next chapter - **

**_What the hell are you doing? you scared me to death!_**

_How could any one be that good a liar?_

_Especially after what Jamie did the week leading up to Jude's departure..._


	5. Every time i see you with her

**hey guys so heres the next chapter, hope you like.**

**thank you to all who have reviewed you all rock!!**

**please let me know what you think of this chapter!!**

Later that evening Jude had finally made it back to her house from Jamie's porch and finally been able to slip away from the 'Family Night' her mom had planned. She was in her room unpacking all her stuff from the tour. It was getting late but sleep hadn't even entered her mind, she was to wired and confused to sleep right now. Sadie and her mom had both given up on the film they were watching and gone to bed not long after Jude had departed claiming she was 'tired'. _I wish_ she thought now. She looked at the clocked that chimed slowly in the corner of the room. Three a.m. Oh the joy. Tommy would be here in six hours. Picking up her bag and acoustic she left the room silently closing the door.

Jude stumbled slightly in the darkness. _Damn people who move the furniture while I'm away_, she cursed to herself as her foot met yet another unfamiliar object. She was almost at the front door when she heard a noise behind her.

'Jude!' a voice whispered loudly. Jude jumped and turned around quickly her hand dropping from the doorknob. Her mind raced with excuses as to what she was doing. Sadie stepped closer to her in the darkness. Jude let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding until now.

'Sadie what the hell are you doing? You scared me to death?' Jude whispered back. While silently thanking who ever was out there that it wasn't her mom who had caught her.

'What am I doing?' Sadie repeated hurriedly. 'What are you doing?' Jude looked at her sister properly for the first time she was still in her silk pyjamas and her bed hair was pretty amusing. Then, this made her laugh more than what she was already trying to suppress, Sadie was holding a spatula high in her left hand.

' I was just heading out for a bit I couldn't sleep.' Jude finally answered giggling still. 'Sadie what were you gonna do with that?' she pointed to what her sister was holding.

Sadie dropped her hand quickly looking annoying at being mocked by her sister. 'I was in the kitchen getting some water, I heard you and thought there was a burglar or something.' Sadie threw back at Jude.

'What were you gonna do offer him pancakes?' Jude couldn't help but laugh a bit louder now.

'Oh shut up' Sadie snapped. 'It was the first thing I picked up!' Jude stopped laughing quickly seeing the look in her sisters eyes reminding her she could still rat her out to their mom for sneaking out.

'Ok, point taken, your weapon choice skills at short notice are marvellous, now can I go?' Jude gestured to the door behind her.

'Go where?' Sadie said with a sneaky look in her eye. Who was her sister sneaking off to meet at this time of night?

'No where just out, I can't think in this house and I need to plus I have to be in the studio in like five hours something now so there's no point going to sleep.' Jude looked at Sadie as sincerely as possible.

Sadie caved quickly as she wanted to go back to bed and knew that Jude would owe her for this any way. ' Fine but I know your trying to avoid seeing dad, he was coming round to see you in the morning. You best be back I can't be doing with him and mom sniping at each other over mom 'letting' you go out.' Sadie crossed her arms dramatically.

'Fine, I will be back before nine.' Jude replied and opened the door as Sadie headed for the stairs. She had no intentions of being here when her father showed up but it kept Sadie quiet for now. She did feel sorry for her mom, if her and her dad were gonna argue, but she really didn't want to speak to him right now.

Memories flooded her mind of the last time she had seen her father as she walked down the empty streets. Back before the tour things weren't good in the Harrison household. The studio was a great escape and pretty much kept her out of all the major arguments, even though most of them were about her. Her dad was well into music like her but her mom never wanted Jude to be in the business. She thought that it was a great 'hobby' but not a life she wanted for a daughter of hers. This being the start of conflict between the parents. Both thought that what they believe was better for Jude was right. Neither even thinking to ask her opinion. Any way it only got worse from there.

When she won instant star, her dreams came true and her dad was over the moon but her mom, not so much. She went with the idea only because she was out numbered but it made life hard for Jude. She had to try so much to balance school and her music career just to keep her happy. As if high school isn't hard enough! Then when she thought things were starting to settle down she caught her father red handing having an affair with none of than Angela, her mom's _ex_-best friend. Jude was a loss at what to do she never thought this would happen to her. She couldn't lie to her mom, she couldn't say know to her dad when he asked her to. Instead Jude took to hardly ever going home, she couldn't stand to see her mom chatting on the phone to Angela, or Angela popping over for coffee. How could any one be that good a liar?

Any way her grades were awful but her music wasn't so bad. It was her only saviour that and Tommy. She told him most things and what she didn't it didn't matter because he would never ask. He helped her a lot. And Jamie god, Jamie he knew everything. She told him everything, cried on his shoulder and stayed at his house when she couldn't face hers. Then out of no where one day a few months before the tour everything went wrong.

Her mom found out about her cheating husband and lying best friend and went crazy. She threw him out. She cried hysterically when trying to tell Jude and her sister. Jude couldn't cope, she didn't think, she told her that she already knew. She could still remember the look of betrayal on her moms tear stained face. She doubted she'd ever forget it. She told her every thing from finding out to covering for them to her fathers desperate promises and begging. That's when she hated her father. He had made her do this. Made her lie for him. She was so desperate not to lose him or upset him. She was so scared he would just leave her and their family for good. So she lied. She let it carry on behind her mother's back. Her mom told her she understood told her it wasn't her fault. This didn't stop the endless guilt Jude felt every night hearing her mom cry in her room.

Things were in a state at home, her mom was sick all the time. Never leaving her room. She was depressed and angry. Sadie wasn't much of help. She was out all the time, with friends and boyfriends. Jude knew her sister was hurt with their family falling apart and knew she was only out all the time because she didn't want to be a part of it. She also knew that Sadie blamed her if possible more than their father. So it was left to Jude to be at home, try and pick up the pieces. Their mom started getting better, it took her along time to venture out but she did. It was like she woke up one day, no longer hurt and sad, but determined and brave. She had decided that she wouldn't let that man, as she had taken to calling him, ruin her life. Jude was happy about this and from then vowed not to talk to her father again. She didn't want him anywhere near her life as it slowly rebuilt. Divorce lawyers who granted him joint custody of Sadie and Jude however destroyed this notion. Weekend and holidays at alternate homes was to be their future. Before this could get into full swing thought the tour happened. And Jude couldn't have been happier to have an excuse to leave. Especially after what Jamie did the week leading up to Jude's departure.

**so i hope you enjoyed it! you will have to wait a few more chapters for more jamie info hehe. **

**next chapter:**

He didn't hate me…. Did he?

sent her flying backwards hitting her head hard on the concrete below.

'Mr Quincy how ever will I repay you?'


	6. Let me fall!

BEEEEEEEEP

BEEEEEEEEP!!

Jude was quickly dragged back to reality. She stopped abruptly at the loud noise that had filled her eardrums, only to realise it was a car. A very angry car. The headlights shone in her eyes annoyingly but threateningly, as she could see nothing much else. The horn was loud enough to wake every sleeper in a five-mile radius of the street and man behind the wheel looked ready to scream at her even louder. Jude snapped out of her current thoughtful state and moved back towards the curb she had just stepped off. The car drove on shouting something rather distasteful back at her. Jeez she thought, both at the fact that she had nearly become road kill and at the rather over dramatic reaction of said angry man. She looked briefly up the street then attempted to cross again, guitar and rucksack slung over her shoulders.

Many people who walk the streets at nearly four in the morning probably don't know where they are going. Jude did however. She had walked this path many times in the months after have fathers departure. She stopped and looked up at the building she had arrived at and smiled. A reaction not a normal person would have based on the state of the building. It was an old run down factory with many broken and boarded windows and a large amount of pretty pointless and boring graffiti. Couldn't someone paint some thing thoughtful or pretty at least Jude thought to her self. (Add name here) woz ere 07' is so last year.

She headed around the side of the building. The main doors were bolted and pretty hard to break into. Jude would know. So the small dog flap sized hole round the side was a much more successful option though it did involve crawling and minding your head. Once through Jude stood up and wiped her jeans down. She walked carefully across the big empty room in to a much smaller, less scary in the dark on my own, one.

She found the box she had left in the far corner covered under a big dustsheet and opened it. Please know rats she thought automatically though she had never seen one in the building. Luck was on her side as no rodents leapt out at her. She laughed slightly to her self and reached in the box pulling out a few candles and a box of matches. She carefully placed the lit candles in the corners of the room. They cast eerie yet familiar shadows on the floor and ceiling. Next she pulled out a large blanket and notebook. She made herself comfortable on the cold floor, The blanket didn't do much to stop that. She started to lose her self in the words in her head writing down phrases only to scribble them out seconds later. It wasn't that she couldn't think of any thing to write, it was quite the opposite, she had so much to write but couldn't string her feelings together. She was glad to be home but missed the endless peace of mind that came with being wild and carefree on tour.

After a few hours Jude was yawning endlessly as see tried to sing the words on the page. She placed the guitar to her side and lay back on the blanket. She hadn't really slept since she got back, to much occupied her head now and even before that sleep hadn't come willingly. She shut her eyes as exhaustion came over her. But as soon as she did everything she didn't want to think about shot to the front of her mind. Her dad, her mom arguing about her again, Darrius, Tommy, the music, school starting in like a week and Jamie. What was she gonna do about Jamie? Sure things weren't normal when she left, in fact they were pretty awkward but it wasn't like this. He didn't hate me…. Did he?

'Damn it' Jude sat up quickly and groaned to herself. She'd only been back two days couldn't some one give her a break. She looked at her phone randomly only to see the time swear loudly and jump up gathering her things and throwing them carelessly in to the box. It was eight thirty already, she hadn't really been paying attention to the time as she wrote. Now she sprinted to the hole in the wall and pulled her cell back out her pocket. 2. Okay she thought, kinda sad Tommy is first in my speed dial. The phone rang three times before a tired sounding Tommy answered.

'Hey girl, I'm shocked you even up, don't worry I'm on my way now.

'Hey yeah sorry I'm not at home.' Jude cut in quickly still jogging down the street. ' Can you pick me up just outta town on Razor Street?'

'Where?' Tommy asked confused and rather curious to know where she had been all night.

'Err…near the old church on the edge of town.' Jude answered thinking how best to describe where she would wait. She needed to get there first and even jogging would still be a few minutes. She didn't know why she didn't ask to be picked up from where she had been. Didn't know why she had never told Tommy or anybody about the place. She loved going there it was her only real escape from everything and as Tommy was often something it wouldn't be if he knew.

'Jude you there…?' Tommy asked, as Jude hadn't answered him being to deep in thought.

'Yeah sorry what did you say?' she replied.

' I said I'm here where are you?' Tommy's voice sounded on the other end of the line.

Shit Jude thought, how fast does he drive. She sprinted to the last corner and rounded it to run in to a flustered Tommy. The force of her impact at the speed she was running sent her flying backwards hitting her head hard on the concrete below.

Tommy felt all air leave his chest as a mass of red hair charged in to him. He heard a loud thud of bone on concrete. He gasped quickly trying to regain himself.

'Ouch' Jude groaned from the floor. She opened her eyes slowly the world spinning above her and a sharp pain shooting through her head.

'Jude are you ok?' Tommy asked panicked as he knelt beside the girl sprawled on the pavement.

'Arrg, that didn't knock sense in to me that just hurt.' Jude answered giggling slightly. She felt rather giddy but sick at the same time.

'I know they say I have an effect on women that makes them throw them selves at me…but Jude seriously I don't think they meant it that literally.' Tommy joked, pulling Jude to sitting next to him.

'Very funny Quincy'. She tried to throw him a sarcastic look but the sudden movement made her wince with pain.

'Come on, up ya get.' Tommy practically lifted Jude of the floor and held her close to him as she stumbled. He place is arm under hers and all but carried her to the car. She mumbled incoherently as she sat in the passenger seat. Tommy went back to grab her bags and guitar, which appeared unscathed thanks to its chunky leather case. He placed her stuff in the trunk of the viper and walked round to the driver's side. Jude was leaning her head back on the seat eyes shut tight against the pain. She looked a rather amusing shade of green that Tommy would have commented on if he weren't so worried that she might pass out any second. 'Hey girl' he said as he sat down. 'You don't look so good.'

Tommy was expecting a witty comeback but Jude just murmured and tried to open her eyes. Tommy started the engine then turn and pulled the seat belt across Jude. He turned back to the wheel and heading in the direction of the local hospital rather than the studio.

Jude woke up in a bright, white room. She wasn't quite sure where she was, or how she got here for that matter. She tired to sit up in which I flash of pain reminded her. She looked down at her right hand to see someone else linked closely with hers. She glanced up at the sleeping figure slumped over the side of the bed. He started to move as she did.

'Your awake' he smile and quickly removed his hand from hers.

'As are you Quincy' Jude laughed lightly. 'Care to explain what I'm doing here.' she gestured with the hand he had just released as if to take the attention away from the fact he had just let go.

'You don't remember?' Tommy frowned at her.

'Vaguely' Jude answered simply. 'You, me, crash, ouch. That's about it!'

'Short version yeah. Followed by you passing out and me carrying you here.' He continued at Jude's look of surprise. 'Nothing broken and pretty sure most of your brains still there. Not to sure though as I never was to begin with, ouch' his last part the result of Jude hitting him pretty hard on the shoulder. ' That's what I get for rescuing you?' Tommy feigned being hurt and Jude laughed at his puppy dog eyes.

'Mr Quincy how ever will I repay you?' Jude mocked.

'I can think of a few ways.' Tommy shot back with a sleazy smile. Earning him another whack from Jude. 'And I repeat ouch!' Jude was laughing pretty loud as the nurse came in.

'Awake I see'. The nurse observed from the door causing Tommy and Jude to stop laughing. 'Well Miss Harrison I just need to get the doctor to give you a once over and sign these and your free to go.' She smiled. 'Oh and don't forget to pick this up from you local pharmacy'. She added handing Jude a green slip of paper that Jude guessed was a prescription of some sort. Jude smiled back as she left the room again.

'I don't know back two days and already in a hospital, you're a piece of work Harrison.' Tommy smiled at her, his sharp blue eyes dazzling in the bright light from the window.

It was almost eleven when Jude and Tommy pulled up in front of her house. The doctor had taken hours to get to them only to tell Jude she should take better care of herself. Claiming that her exhaustion and dehydration where more to blame for her passing out than the collision with the pavement. Jude beg to differ every time she accidentally knocked the large lump on the back of her head. Luckily for Jude, Tommy hadn't called her parents before she woken and she wouldn't let him after she had. That was the last thing she needed her mom fussing and her dad then arguing that she didn't need to. Now though she had some explaining to do. She almost thirty missed calls from her mom alone.

'Arrg…supposed I will go get this over with.' Jude grimaced as she opened the car door. Tommy would have done this for her had she given him the chance. Instead he leaned over and crossed his fingers for good luck. Jude smiled and waved as he pulled away. 'Here we go!' Jude muttered to herself as she headed for the front door.

'Jude Elizabeth Harrison, where the hell have you been?' Victoria shot up off the couch, phone clutch between her fingers, the moment Jude stepped through the door.


	7. And i'm late again

**hey guys sorry took a while but here you go next chapter hope you like it!!**

**thankies for all your reviews i love reviews hint hint :P**

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Monday morning came far to early for Jude's liking. After the wonderful events of her Saturday hospital visit and Sunday house arrest the weekend really hadn't been kind to her. Jude dragged herself unwilling from her warm bed towards the door, grabbing clothes laying about the room on her way. She showered quickly hoping the cold water would refresh her as the pathetic amount of sleep she'd had got certainly hadn't. Once dressed she attempted to tame her wild red curls. Any one that had seen Jude Harrison when she had first won instant star would have thought her perfectly straight her was natural. The truth of it was she styled it that way every morning. Now how ever Jude was desperate to look different from how she was before the tour. She had grown a lot in her time away and things that had seemed so bad weren't but situations that had happened were still awkward. Different was definitely good at the moment. Staring in the mirror Jude really wished to change something about her self. She felt different. Any one who had known Jude Harrison would also think she was the last person on earth who would want a make over, but she felt restless she needed to do something.

Jude was snapped back to earth at her sister screeching up the stairs. _God how can she be so… well Sadie this early in the morning_, she thought to herself. Grabbing her black rucksack of the floor Jude rushed down the stairs.

Sadie pulled her lime green beetle in to a free space in the school parking lot. She quickly got out grabbing her stuff and slamming the door. Jude slowly stepped out the passenger side and stretched, yawning loudly. Sadie was already heading towards a large group of girls in the middle of the parking lot, nearly all of which were wearing ridiculously short skirts and way to much pink. She turned back when she heard the car door close and flashed the remote locking towards the car. With out another glance or a word she walked of to class with her friends. Jude on the other hand walked on her own as slowly as she could with out going backwards, to the main doors. She was used the school ritual by now. Here she was no body and certainly not a relation of St. Sadie head of the most obnoxious school click going…the cheerleaders!

She reached the doors to hear some one calling her name, well almost.

'Dude!' Speid was jogging towards her, 'wait up.' He called pointlessly as she had already stopped.

'Morning Speid.' Jude said unenthusiastically as he got closer. 'Where are the guys?' she asked having just noticed Kyle and Wally weren't with him.

'Already here dude, I was running a bit late this morning caught a lift with Leo. ' He motioned behind him to a scruffy looking black car that was just leaving the school grounds. Speid's brother Leo was a pretty cool guy. Three years older than Speid and Jude he worked at music store in town.

'Welcome back to reality.' Jude gestured through the glass the doors as she opened them. Speid walked through and Jude bowed jokingly. 'After you then.' They laughed and talked loudly as they walked down the main corridor to their lockers. Jude didn't have many friends at this place but Speid was definitely one of her close ones, as well as being her favorite guitarist. They were half way through a heated debate about the quality of the last Cure album when the bell rang painfully loud above their heads.

'And I'm late again.' Jude groaned as she slammed her locker shut and slumped off to her first class. Speid took off at a fast pace in the other direction towards the music rooms. Jude wished she good join him but unfortunately for her the administrations person who made her timetable was out to get her, first class on a Monday morning…Calculus with Mr. Jones.

She opened the classroom door quietly hoping to sneak in to her seat unnoticed.

'Miss Harrison.' Jude stopped and turned to face the tall and menacing looking man before her. She smiled apologetically.

'Sorry I'm…' she started to speak but he cut across her obvious enjoyment at putting her on the spot spread across his face.

'It's nice of you join us, tell me was my lesson difficult to fit into your busy rock star schedule.'

'Give me a break old man.' She thought, no wait had she just said that out loud. _Shit._

'And with that you can leave my classroom again and head to the principle's office.' His smile was now stretching from ear to ear. She never had understood why he hated her so much. It was hardly her fault she sucked and math and just happened to be famous. 'Way to go genius' she scolded herself under her breath. But unfortunately not quiet enough.

'What was that? Answering back now are we?' Mr. Jones was enjoying this way too much in Jude's opinion, he really was just out to get her. 'We can add rudeness to you list of offenses today now if you don't mind the rest of us are here to learn.' He opened the door and motioned for her the get out.

'As if!' She threw back loudly this time and stormed down the hall.

'I'm shocked!' Tommy sat in the spinning chair at the soundboard facing the door. 'Only one hour and thirteen minutes late! Is that a personal best?' He smirked at the unimpressed look Jude was throwing him from her place leaning on the doorframe.

'Shut it Quincy.' Jude entered the studio and slumped on the black leather couch groaning as she covered her face with her hands. 'Life sucks!'

Tommy surveyed the teenaged girl in front of him. No one could pay him enough money in the world to be a teenager again let alone a girl. He had to laugh slightly though. _God she's a drama queen._

'What's up Girl?' he moved her feet from the bottom of the couch and sat down with them in his lap.

'Since when did you become my shrink?' Jude removed her hands and smiled at him.

'Well if you'd rather I leave.' He went to stand only to be pushed back down by Jude's fist. Tommy knew she wanted to talk, she always shared her problems with him. Even if he pretended he wasn't very interested or joked about them, he loved that she chose him to turn to. He also knew it was wrong how much he craved seeing her. Even today when she was late, even though she always was, he panicked. What had happen? Or who was she with?

'Earth to Tommy' He was snapped out of his thoughts by an angry Jude waving her hand in his face. 'You ask me what's wrong then don't even listen…you are such a man.'

'Sorry you were saying…' the next half an hour was spent with Jude retelling her awful Monday at school and Tommy listening and making her laugh whenever she really started ranting by tickling her feet.

'Okay I will shut up.' Jude struggled to breathe, squirming on the couch with Tommy pinning her down tickling her madly. 'Stop please.' She begged laughing loudly. 'If you don't stop in a minute I'm actually going to vomit on you.'

Tommy leapt back out of range laughing. He sat back in his chair and stared at Jude. She sat up slowly and turned to face him pulling her knees up to her chest. She looked so innocent yet was incredibly feisty and very sharp tongued he thought. Her beautiful eyes caught his gaze and she looked away shyly, biting her bottom lip. She obviously had no idea the effect this had on him. It took all his will power to stay in his seat, but he couldn't drag his eyes away.

Jude felt suddenly very exposed in front of Tommy's piercing blue eyes. She pull her knees close as a shield. She bit her lip nervously and then quickly shattered the nervous silence. 'Right lets get to work.' She grabbed her guitar from the corner, never looking him in the eye, and headed for the sound booth.

'You got something new?' Tommy spun his chair to face the glass window and spoke through the Mic, suddenly intrigued.

'Yeah, well something old that I found and re-worked at bit in detention. Kinda an old feeling I sorta recognized a bit today.' Jude finally looked him in the eye. Those eyes. They just got to her every time. She felt her self smile at him weakly. She hoped he would guess the song was about him.

She had fallen for Tommy the very first time she looked deep in to those eyes at the docks. But with everything after her birthday and shay and that disaster she had tried to forget him on tour. Forget what she felt for him and the way he made he melt with one look. It could never happen, he had made that pretty clear after their kiss in the rain. People may wonder why she still works with him if this escaping is what she wanted. Truth was that on tour she missed him so much. She knew she had to be his friend, just work with him if nothing else. Tom Quincy was one addiction she couldn't give up.

'lets hear it then' Tommy's voiced reached Jude and she started to play no questions asked. She really needed to release what was raging a war in her head, even if no on else knew what it was meant for.

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	8. NoNo more Tommy Quincy

**hey all** **hope you like this next bit sorry its a bit short and there isnt much dialog but you get to see what each of them is feeling. please review i'd love to know what you think. the song in this chapter was written by me and i havent put all of it but you get the idea and the part i used fits to what jude is feeling!**

**disclaimer: i do not own instant star or the characters used.**

**enjoy!!!**

_Lets hear it then' Tommy's voiced reached Jude and she started to play no questions asked. She really needed to release what was raging a war in her head, even if no on else knew what it was meant for._

I can't stand to see your face

Why are you every single place (I go)

I mean to say your everywhere

In the dark I see your eyes

I know your watching all the time

I deny that I know

But if you're listening, here I go!

I can't stand anything you say

You say I love you and I hate it cause you don't mean it that way.

Leave me on my own if you gotta

Can't stand to be alone…when I'm gone!

All the memories of the last few months with out him flooded her mind. She loved him. She didn't know what love was but to her it was this. It was undeniable. It was infatuation and it was wrong!

Tommy was awe struck by the passion in her voice. She wouldn't look at him though. He wished she would, he loved the way she looked at him. She had that smile, as the song says, that she did use only for him and he loved it. Damn he just loved her.

Jude finished singing and finally looked at Tommy through the glass. She may have been angry about what she felt but she loved how she felt. She just wished he felt it too. To him she was just a kid, he may have said once to Kwest that she got to him, but that's not love. He didn't love her the way she did him and it drove her mad. Maybe it was better though, what if he did love her back? They couldn't do anything about. He was her producer and she was his artist…she was just a kid.

After singing the track a few more times Jude had nailed it and finished for the day leaving Tommy to work with SME. She headed out for the factory. She really needed some thinking time. She was driving down the high street in the center of town when something caught her eye. She parked the car at the edge of the road and hopped out and headed for the small salon a few doors down. She had been thinking about it for a while and right now she felt like breaking out a bit.

Jude skipped going to the edge of town. By the time she was finished at the salon it was getting dark out and she had calmed down now. She headed home. She put the key in the door and entered. The lights were all out, her mom wasn't back yet and Sadie…well she never knew what Sadie after school. Jude decided to head for her room and write a little. She felt oddly inspired by her knew self. She had said she wanted to look different well she got that! She caught her reflection in the mirror in the hallway and stopped. She wondered how long it would take for her to recognize this new reflection when she saw it. The pale blonde framed her face angelically and looked amazing against her soft pale skin. She loved it but it still shocked her. She seemed less tough tomboy more pretty woman now. Well if this doesn't grab his attention what will she thought. Then immediately mentally slapped her self. She had done this so she was different, new her time for a new crush…no more Tommy Quincy.

Tuesday morning arrived incredibly slowly for Jude. She spent Monday evening in her room. Sadie didn't crawl in till late and Jude pretended to be asleep when she looked in her door. She wasn't though, she wasn't sure what it was but she hadn't slept for longer than a few hours for weeks.

When she was on tour she assumed it was because she missed home. Missed her bed. But she was back now and still she couldn't rest. Every time she closed her eyes her mind would run crazy with thoughts about every thing and anything. She just couldn't settle. Most nights she sat and wrote but she couldn't even have done that she could focus. Her mom wasn't home and when four o'clock came around and Jude had finally succumbed to the tiredness she still wasn't back.

She glanced at the alarm clock. 7.00am! Well she might as well get up now she thought. Jude headed for the bathroom and showered quickly, the cool water refreshing on her tired body. She dressed and towel dried her hair, twisting it up and gripping it. In the kitchen she decided to skip breakfast, she wasn't really a morning person but lately she had no choice. It was almost 8 now so she took of for the studio thinking she could put in a few hours before school.

Tommy stood in the studio flicking switches on the soundboard. He wasn't really interested in the track he was mixing. Some lame TV advert Darrius had cornered him into doing. He came to the studio early as he new Jude had been doing that a lot lately. He hadn't slept well and the thought of getting to work on some new tracks with her brightened his day. She wasn't here though. He was disappointed to say the least and now he was stuck doing this crap for his boss.

The main doors swung open and a young blonde hair girl entered. She glanced around and headed for the small studio at the back of G major. Tommy looked up when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. He caught a quick glance of blonde hair and then nothing. He decided to see who was here. He didn't recognize the girl. He opened the studio door where she sat with her back to him, guitar in hand. Wait that was Jude's guitar. Tommy stopped dead in his tracks…that was Jude!

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	9. I don't know you!

'Jude?' Tommy just stopped and stared at the beautiful girl in front of him. She sat a shy look covering her face. She smiled unwillingly at him and stood up. Tommy couldn't move he was in shock. She looked so different, more mature and gorgeous.

'Hey Tom' Jude played with the hem of her shirt in obvious discomfort in front of him. If only he would stop staring at her. She looked towards his feet rather than at his face. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous. It was like she wanted to know his reaction but worried about what it would be. She had to stop this why did she care what he thought. Damn those dazzling eyes.

'So how come you're here so early?' Jude attempted to close the awkward silence that had filled the room.

Tommy shook his to focus and answered. 'Just getting some err work finished.' He was still staring he knew, he just couldn't help it.

'Need a hand? I have a few hours to kill till school.' Jude smiled forcedly and made her way past Tommy, intent on keeping the subject on any thing else.

Tommy followed as she headed for studio he had been working in. she had already settled her self down in one of the chairs at the soundboard. 'So what you been working on?'

'Not much, some crap TV theme for Darrius.' Tommy took the seat next to her. 'I err like your hair.' He said quickly then glanced to the board. 'Its really pretty.' He looked back to see her staring at him trying not to laugh. 'What?'

'Nothing' she smirked. 'Thanks Quincy, I felt like a change. So do a suit the blonde?' she batted her eyelashes jokingly and immediately the tense atmosphere surrounding them broke.

'Will at least the stereo type any way?' Tommy laughed back. Jude punched him lightly on the arm. 'Violent much in the morning!' Tommy feigned being hurt. 'You set yourself up for that one girl.' He continued to laugh softly. Jude loved the way he threw his head back animatedly. He looked pretty good himself this morning.

'Well then you should of known what you would get if you said it.' She turned away from him and continued to fiddle with some thing on the board. Tommy spun her chair quickly in to him. They sat face to face, knees gently grazing. Tommy leaned in and whispered in a husky voice, stroking a piece of her bright blonde hair.

'Violence never solves a problem…but now I know you like it rough.' Jude shoved him back quickly sending her chair away from his. She blushed unwillingly. He laughed at her embarrassment.

'Your such a man.' Jude regained herself and shuffled back with her chair.

'And you love me for it.' Tommy

The rest of the morning flew by with the pair throwing endless insults playfully at each other. Jude wasn't sure when the jokes ended and the flirting began but it was funny either way. She loved spending time like this with Tommy. He cut out of G major to drop her off at school and now she was sat in English paying next to no attention to what was being said.

'Miss Harrison.' Jude snapped her head up quickly from her journal on the desk. 'What's your thoughts on this?' the tall woman in front of her looked expectantly at Jude tapping her foot.

'Erm...' Jude actually had no idea what was going on. She really should learn from past incidents like this a pay attention. Damn karma was out to get her. Every single time, she never knew the answer so why did she always ask. Miss Smith the old English teacher was till tapping her foot patiently. Jude looked over to Speid her friend and band mate for help. He just looked away trying not to laugh. 'I think…I thought…I have no idea!' Jude decided to just give in she had lost this one.

'Well Jude if you paid more attention to this class instead of day dreaming maybe you would.' The woman turned to the rest of the class and continued to teach, constantly glaring in Jude's direction. Jude slipped her journal away to at least try and keep up.

The bell rang loudly, the students in the classroom gathered their things and left. Jude followed suit slowly. She was in the main corridor when she saw a familiar face. Know she had a choice to make. Catch up and talk to him like nothing had happened. Like they were as they always had been and he hadn't slammed the door in her face only the other day. Or she could avoid him and wait for him to come round. Damn her need to repair things between them. She hated fighting with any one let alone him.

'Jamie!' She shouted down the hallway. Jamie turned and saw who was and immediately turned back round and continued to walk away. 'Jamie please wait!' Jude ran to catch up with him. 'Looked I'm sorry Jamie please what's going on?'

Jamie stopped and turned to face the blonde girl running towards him. Wait blonde. Jude, she looked so different. Beautiful but not the feisty slightly geek girl he knew. Not the rebel punk rock angry chick. She looked just like one of them, one of them girls everybody wants to be. The popular pretty girls. The girls Jude hated.

'Jude I don't want to talk to you. Is my ignoring you not a big enough clue?' Jamie tried to keep his voice steady. People were already looking at them.

Jude stopped in front of him slightly hurt. 'Jamie I know things were weird when I left and I'm sorry but it's us Jamie you and me. We're best friends, that hasn't changed.' Jude looked up at him with sad eyes. She had changed. But that wasn't it she was still Jude at heart he knew that. It wasn't her fault at all. He hated the way she made him feel. The way he loved her but she never loved him. The way she always ruined everything. Jamie felt himself getting angry again. Just like when she was at his door. He couldn't stand to look at her. He felt bad she had no idea. Not really but he couldn't help but blame her.

'Every thing had changed Jude. You know what I thought I was over you. I couldn't wait for you to get back from tour and we could go back to being friends. I had a great summer, a new girlfriend. I missed you but I thought it would be fine. Then you were back and Shannon broke up with me because of you. Every one else can see it Jude but you. You're so mindless. I loved you and you never noticed. I told you and you ran away. We can't be us Jude, I cant be your friend.' Jamie was shouting now. Right in her face. People around them were staring and laughing. He saw the tears in her eyes.

Jude was angry now. How could he blame her for everything. Blame her for not loving him back, for breaking up him and Shannon. Who ever that was?

'Let me get this right, we're not friends because I turned you down.' Jude was shaking slightly she was angry but mostly confused and upset. It didn't help that most of the school was watching. She wouldn't cry, here, now. 'That's crap Jamie and you know it.'

'Whatever Jude, you say you haven't changed just look at your self. You've changed. You not the same girl I used to know. Now your just a…a slut!' Jamie didn't mean it. It was hard for him to say it but he wanted to hurt her like she had him.

Jude gave him one last look of hurt. She couldn't believe him. She he didn't mean it but he said it any way just to hurt her. Jude stormed away, pushing through the crowd of teenagers watching. They all stared at her, whispering behind their hands or just point blank laughing in her face. Great that's all she needed more people to tear at her and trash talk her. Just great! She made it to the main doors and slammed them behind her. At least she had the dramatic exit thing working for her.


	10. Life sucks!

Later that evening Jude sat at the dinner table with her mother and sister. They were chatting, mostly about Sadie's day, around her. Jude sat in silence playing with the food on her plate. As she successfully separated all the contents of her dinner in to their own groups her mom spoke.

'Jude honey, are you ok?' Jude's head snapped up form her plate. Her mom was giving her that look. The concerned, I know you're about to lie to me look.

'Yeah I'm fine mom.' Jude lied. 'Just thinking, had a bit of an argument with Jamie earlier.' That wasn't all that was on her mind but she wasn't about to go into detail about the rest. She could just hear it know. Yeah mom I'm fine just worried that I'm failing math already and I have only been back a week or so. Oh and yeah Jamie's in love with me…so he says, but I don't feel that way for him because I'm in love with Tommy. Yeah that Tommy my 5 years older that me producer, that's the one.

'Jude' her mom was still staring at her. She obviously missed something here.

'Sorry what were you saying.' Jude replied.

'I said what were you arguing about?'

'Oh you know,' Jude tried to stall while she thought of a suitable story. 'Just the usual, me being busy him feeling left out a bit. Don't worry though we'll be fine. We always are.' Jude wished this was the truth, this she could have easily fixed. The reality though, how do you tell some one you don't love them and don't think you ever will. Well easily like that. But Jude had already told him that and that didn't go so well did it?

'Jude!' Apparently she had missed her moms comments again. God she needed to get her head out the clouds.

'Hmm'. She tried to cover for her lack of interest.

'Are you sure that's all?' damn why do parents always have to dig. Jude was a terrible liar.

'Yeah, I just have an idea for a song do you mind if I'm excused.' She pushed her chair back from table before waiting for an answer.

'You've barely eaten.' Sadie commented, unhelpful as usual.

All she needed was her sister giving her mom more to think she needed to worry about. Truth was Jude just wasn't hungry. But that answer was never enough. Her mom was constantly stressing about what Jude ate, where she went, whom she was with, why was she so pale, why is she back so late. Just cause your sort of famous everyone thinks your gonna do a Brittany or Amy Winehouse or something.

'I ate earlier, at the studio, with Tommy.' She covered quickly.

With that said she left the dinning room abruptly. She really wasn't in the mood to answer a bunch of questions. She made it to the staircase before her mom caught up to her.

'Honey I actually need to tell you and your sister something can you hold on a second.' Her mom held her gaze. Jude walked back down the few steps she had climbed and followed her back to the table.

Once they were all back seated and her mom had cleared away the plates she spoke. 'Well you father is in town and he wasn't to see both of you this weekend. I told him that was fine.' she got this all out quickly knowing all to well the reaction she was going to get from one of her daughters.

'What?' Jude and Sadie said in unison. Their tone of voices the complete opposite though.

'I had plans.' Sadie said slightly annoyed but not too unhappy about it. She missed her father. It was weird to go from him being there every morning and every night, to only seeing him every few weeks.

'No way!' was all Jude said, pain in her voice.

'Your father hasn't seen you since you got back Jude. He is free and wants to treat you both to dinner.' Victoria said trying to sound positive. As much as she despised her husband she never wanted their girls to have to pick sides. She also knew that as much as she hid it Jude missed her dad, a lot.

'There's a reason he hasn't seen me. I don't want him to.' Jude shouted back. She couldn't help but be angry with her mom. She had made the decision with out even thinking about what this meant for her. She didn't need this not on top of the craziness that was her life lately. She also knew there was very little chance of getting out of it.

'Fine, you know what fine. I will go to a stupid dinner with him if that's what he wants. You know nice of him to schedule us, his own daughters, into his busy life.' Jude had clamed slightly, but no one missed the sarcasm dripping of her every word. 'Now if you don't mind I have a lot to do. Darrius wants a hit and fast so yeah night.' She got up and left the table this time not stopping at her mom's voice.

The next morning Jude got up earlier than normal. She really couldn't cope with school today. School meant annoying teachers, bitchy looks and Jamie. No, today she was just gonna skip it all. On top off this by the time she had finished stressing over her weekend with her father it was pretty late and inspiration just wouldn't come to her. So that made her even more angry. Not only did he destroy her family with his cheating and lying but now he was also effecting her music. What hurt the most though was that he wasn't there when she needed help. Not anymore.

She arrived at the studio around eight thirty, having slept about an hour and running on her caffeine in take. She had left a note for her sister saying she was walking to school with Jamie to talk. That should keep her quiet, plus she would never notice she wasn't at school. She didn't notice when she was.

Jude saw Tommy already here. He seemed to be here a lot this early in the morning. She shrugged off the thought and made her way to studio A.

'Good morning' Tommy smiled at Jude when she entered the studio.

Jude walked by him and slumped on to the sofa covering her face with a cushion.

'Grrr' was the only reply he got.

'Not good morning.' Tommy corrected swinging his chair round to face her on the couch.

Jude threw the cushion down at her side in exasperation.

'life sucks!'

Tommy tried not to laugh at her. 'What's up girl?'

'I'm a teenaged girl in high school who's kinda famous with a pretty impossible life. Every thing is up!' Jude replied angrily. 'And to add to that mess, which I would rather not discuss,' she added at the look on his face. 'I can't write a decent song!'

'You know that's a lie.' Tommy moved to sit next to her and Jude automatically lay with her head in his lap looking up at him.

She sighed loudly. Why was it just being close to him relaxed her. He always made her feel better.

'No it's not. I tried to come up with something for hours last night. I can't focus its crazy.' Jude talked animatedly with her hands. Tommy absent-mindedly stroked her hair. He loved the smell of Jude's hair. It was like strawberries and cream. And he had to say he was a fan of the blonde she looked amazing. Even at nine in the morning with probably no sleep if he knew her.

'Well what about your stuff from tour. I know you have loads. Let's do one of them. Which fits your mood.' Jude still hadn't let him she anything she had written when she was away. And he followed on and just agreed to work on something new. But deep down he knew there was a reason. He wanted to know what she was hiding in her music. Had some thing happened on tour? What could be so big to make an impact for a song but not allow her to show him it?

Jude hesitated before she answered. ok they could do one of her songs from the beginning of the tour. most of them were either about the new lifestyle or jamies bomb shell before she left. Nothing their he would notice to be about him, she thought.

'Fine but I pick.' Tommy smiled.

'What ever you say girl'


	11. She's Gone!

**Hey so here's the next bit i hope you like it. its a bit sort but there will be more soon and lots of drama and slight Jommyness so keep reading. let me know what you think!! **

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* * *

Saturday morning arrived and Jude was already dreading the day. Her dad was coming to pick them up in about an hour so she was pretty reluctant to move from the comfort of her bed. She had already had an awful week, how could this be worse right? She finally made a move after hearing Sadie vacate the bathroom.

Jude stumbled out of bed getting her feet stuck in the bottom of her covers. She showered quickly and found the nearest pair of clean looking jeans and a shirt to throw on. Since her argument with Jamie everything had gone down hill. She hadn't spoken to Jamie and they were both succeeding well in avoiding each other. This helped to make Jude's lesson incredibly boring and lonely. She didn't a lot of friends, not since Kat had left. Most of the girls in her year either thought she was a loser or a slut. Mainly because of their jealousy, but Jude never saw it that way. So yeah school was crap her only saviors being SME. They always knew how to make her laugh and get her in trouble. This lead to three days of having after school detention, which lead to arguments with her mom and pissing off Tommy.

Her mom was a different story. All week she had been acting strange. She wasn't depressed over her father any more Jude knew that, but she was unnerving with her happiness. She was always on the phone and never in at night. This made the house kind of lonely too. Jude had spent most evenings after leaving the studio at the abandoned factory. No one seemed to notice her un-slept in bed or her sneaking home in the early hours.

So yeah all in all a crap week, the only up side was the new song her and Tommy had chosen was one of Jude's favorites and had absolutely no connection with Tommy or Jamie, thank god!

'Jude get your ass down here. Dad will be here in like five minutes.' Sadie was hollering up the staircase. Jude grabbed her back with her notebook and pen inside and left her bedroom. Just as she rounded the stairs Sadie was about to shout again.

'Jude!'

'Take a pill Sadie I'm ready!' Jude snapped at her sister.

'Fine, well dad is on his way and mom isn't in so its left to me to make sure your sorry ass is ready to leave.' Sadie glared at her sister and went to grab her purse from the coffee table.

'Wait where's mom?' Jude asked confused. Her mother was never at work on Saturdays and she hadn't mentioned plans. Not that she had spoken to Jude for longer than three minutes all week.

'Sorry I'm not her walking events manager, I have no idea.' Sadie replied sarcastically. Unlike Jude she hadn't really noticed the change in their mothers behavior. This was because she was hardly ever in the house either.

They heard a car horn outside and Sadie ran out happily to greet their dad. She climbed in to the passenger seat and hugged him. They immediately started talking about school and Sadie's dance classes and horse riding events and karate class and her new job as a receptionist at G major and the countless number of extra-curricular activities she did. Jude had climbed in to the back and sat with her ipod on. They pulled out of the driveway and headed for the town center.

'Jude honey how are you then?' They had arrived at a small café not far from the studio named Parker's. Jude ate here a lot with Tommy. This was the first time since picking up his daughters Stuart had really acknowledged Jude was there. It didn't bother her much though, as she'd rather not have been there at all.

'Fine.' she replied nonchalantly staring at the food on her plate. She loved the food and atmosphere here when she was with Tommy but sat in the small booth with her father across from her she felt trapped and lost.

'Food not good?' he inquired noticing her prodding her eggs with her fork.

'Its fine.' Jude answered still looking at her plate.

'Good I know you like coming here so thought it would be nice for all three of us.' He sat waiting for a response. Jude really wasn't in the mood to argue so she unwilling gave him a smile, then went back to playing with her food.

Stuart didn't press the conversation further. He knew Jude was still angry with him and he knew he deserved it. He just wished she had never found out. He missed the close relationship he had shared with his youngest daughter.

On leaving the café Jude insisted that she could walk to work leaving her dad to take Sadie home. Really she had no intention of going to the studio. Lately she had felt so alone that busy crowds scared her. The studio was always heaving with activity on Saturdays and she really couldn't cope with that after the awkward morning she had just had. Plus as she started walking away the tears had started to fall. She hated crying in front of people and hated that she still needed to cry over her dad. Nope there was no way she was going to the studio to be interrogated by Tommy and have everyone staring at her.

After walking to clear her head for what turned in to hours Jude made it home. She let her self in and noticed Sadie sat on the couch. The TV wasn't on and she wasn't reading her usual magazine she was just sat staring.

'Sade's' Jude called over to her and she turned her eyes red and puffy from crying. 'What's wrong?'

Sadie jumped up and hugged her sister then stepped back to look her in the face. Jude just stood there confused.

'She's gone Jude!' Jude still had no idea what Sadie was going on about. Noticing this Sadie continued fresh tears leaving tracks down her face. ' Mom, she's gone. I got home and dad went and I came upstairs and she was packing. She said she had met some one. Some one who really loved her. She said she couldn't stay here any more and she went.' Sadie was sobbing now and Jude didn't quite no what to do. She stood and let Sadie hug her. She couldn't quite believe what her sister was saying. It didn't make sense. After Sadie got it together and released Jude she slumped back on the couch. She looked expectantly at Jude. She still hadn't said any thing. Jude turned away from Sadie picked up her bag from the floor by the door and left the house.

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**dan dan dannnnnn....please review!**


	12. I've got a dark alley and a bad idea!

**hey all! my stupid internet is being crappy so i have to use the like acient computer atm. i was well annoyed cause i was rele excited after i wrote this chapter and wanted to post it straight to see what you all thought! but no i had to wait agesssss. so here it is any and i actually love the way this bit turned out so let me know what you think please!!!!!**

**thanks to all those guys that reviewed the other chapters you rock!**

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Jude hadn't really planned this in advance. How could she? Why would she? No she had defiantly never thought this is where she would be on her Saturday night.

The nightclub was a mess with commotion. The music was loud and thumping. The base beat moving through the floor. Jude picked her glass up from the bar and drained it. Okay so she was under-aged. She sure as hell didn't give a damn right now. And the bouncer at the door was more than happy to be bribed with an autograph and an award-winning smile.

So there she sat. Drowning her sorrows, she now realized why this was favored as a coping mechanism. It worked! The night passed in a bit of a blur. It started with a few drinks alone at the bar. Now though she was having a great time. Mr. tall dark and hansom whose name she had either forgotten or never asked was dancing close in front of her. She smiled and he returned it.

Jude was in the center of the dance floor, in the well-known club M. It was almost one in the morning. Her phone had rang so many times since she had stormed out of the house that she had switched it off and tossed it on the bar. She was wearing the same clothes she had had on all day. At first she had felt under dressed surround by the many girls in short skirts and low tops. Now she just felt amazing. The wonders of alcohol.

The song ended and she pulled away from the guy she had been dancing with. He followed her as she headed for the bar.

'Buy you another' the guy raised his glass in Jude's direction.

'Why not!' she replied eagerly.

He motioned to the bartender and ordered to vodkas and cokes. Jude stood up off the barstool she had been perched on and tripped slightly. The room was a little blurry. Maybe she should go. But she felt bad the guy had just got drinks. One more and she would leave, she decided.

'I will be right back just nipping to the bathroom.' She headed to the back of the club into the well-lit corridor. The sudden change of light hurt her eyes and made her head hurt a little. She went over to the sink and splashed her face. The cool water was calming to her. She felt better almost immediately. She hadn't drunk that much. She knew she wasn't a pro at the club scene and however angry and upset she was, she didn't want to loose control. That was something she didn't cope with well. When she was in control she had choices. When others had the control and choices, she usually ended up lost and hurt. Realization of what had really happened this evening was staring to dawn on her.

Her mom had gone, just left. How could she not have even said good bye or explained? An explanation would mean a lot right now. What hurt the most though was that Sadie had been able to say good bye. Their mother didn't hate Sadie. She couldn't stand the sight of Jude. She loved her, but Jude knew every time her mother saw her face she saw her husband. How could she blame her for hating that? She hated that.

Jude left the bathroom slightly more depressed than when she had entered. But she didn't want to think about it any more and she didn't want to understand. Hating someone for hurting you is a lot easier than understanding why they did it. Both ways involved the hurt but the hate it was an outlet. It meant there was someone to blame!

She made her way to the bar and the guy was still there waiting. He smiled at her when she neared him.

'Drink?' he asked. If Jude wasn't so preoccupied she may have notice the darkness in his eyes.

'Yes, Please.' She took the glass and downed a large mouthful.

'Some ones thirsty.' The guy commented. Jude just laughed and took a smaller sip.

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Tommy and Kwest left the bar they had been at for most the night. Stumbling slightly through the door.

'Thanks for dragging me out man you were right I needed to blow off some steam.' Tommy said to his best friend next to him. Kwest was a bit more drunk than Tommy and swaggered as he walked. This made a change for the pair, as normally Tommy was the one plastered.

'Its even better when you have some one who can cover the blowing off part for you.' Kwest laughed loudly, stopping walking and pointing at Tommy then laughing some more.

Tommy looked disgusted at his friend but laughed all the same.

'Kwest man too much info!' he swung Kwest's arm over his shoulder and half dragged him down the street. Tommy flagged down a cab as it went to pass them. 'Come on, get you drunken self back before Nic grounds your sorry ass!' Tommy opened the back door of the cab and Kwest awkwardly clambered in.

'She don't control me man if I wanna get drunk I shall.' Kwest raised his voice obviously missing Tommy's joke.

'I no dude chill, you proved that point tonight any ways. See you at work, man.' Tommy slammed the door on Kwest's continued ranting. He leaned in to the cad driver and gave him the address and paid the fair. The cab took off down the street and Tommy watched it for a second before continuing in the opposite direction.

The night was nice warm but with a chill in the wind. He decided to walk back to his apartment as he often did after a night out. He was only about 20 minutes from the town center.

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Jude finished what was left in her glass and grabbed her coat.

'Leaving so soon.' Jude looked up to the man talking to her and the room began to spin. She put her hand to her forehead to try and focus.

'Yeah I think I'm done for the night. Thanks for the drink.' She went to walk away and was taken aback when someone grabbed her arm.

'I will walk you out.' Jude noticed he still had hold of her even though she had turned to face him. She didn't know what to say. All of a sudden he didn't look so friendly. There was something in his eyes. And he was smiling at her. A creepy smile. It wasn't really a question he had asked but she answered him any way.

'It's ok, have a good night.' She gave a smile she hoped looked genuine and turned again to leave. His grip only tightened on her wrist.

'What kind of gentleman would I be if I let the lady leave with out making sure she had a cab?' His face looked different now. More sincere. Jude wasn't sure what she had seen before that made her panic. Maybe it was all in her mind, she was just being paranoid.

He dropped her wrist and placed his hand on the small of her back as he led her towards the exit. They were close to the door when she tripped. He grabbed her quickly pulling her up and close to him.

Jude felt sick the room wouldn't stop swirling in her head and her feet just weren't cooperating. How had she gotten so drunk so quickly? She shut her eyes tight trying to keep herself from getting dizzy. She was aware she was still moving, being directed out of the club by the hands on her back and waist. The cold air met her face and the thumping music was lower and further away. She heard the door slam behind her and opened her eyes.

There wasn't a busy street in front of her. There were dumpsters and empty crates. She pulled a way from the hands holding her and tried to head for the door. He grabbed her hard throwing her off balance.

'Get off me' She shouted flailing her limbs in defense. The man was far stronger and grabbed her shoulders slamming her against the wall.

'I just want to have fun, we've been getting along so well.' He spoke in to her ear in a voice that made her want to vomit. His touch was cold and sickening also. She struggled against his strong hold. 'Jude Harrison…Your way out of you league.' He mocked her laughing and throwing his head back menacingly. 'You flirt all night, leading me on then turn me down. Do you enjoy playing with people?'

'Leave me alone, get your filthy hands of me you perve!' Jude shouted back at him. Hoping that some one would hear her. She wasn't even sure where she was. The back alley? Who would be around? She was alone, trapped with him.

'I only want what you've been dangling in front of me all night!' he bent down close to her face and kissed her neck. With one hand he grabbed her wrists holding them tight. He pushed him self close to her body, his other hand wandering to the hem of her shirt.

Jude struggled and desperately tried to pull her arms from his grip. As he moved closer she took a chance and quickly raised her knee. She kneed him as hard as she could in the spot that would hurt the most. He let out a cry and like she had shocked him released her arms. She didn't wait around, she took off as quickly as she could. Everything was out of focus and she tripped and stumbled down the alley towards the lights of what she hoped was the street.

She didn't stop running until she heard the loud horn of a car. She stopped and fell all in one motion in front of the car. She could hear people shouting and the opening of a car door. She heard some one call her name.

A large hand came to her shoulder as some one dropped to their knees beside her. She flinched at the touch and started to cry. She was so confused. All she wanted was for everything to stop moving so she could think. Two arms again grabbed her pulled her close, she recognized the soft voice talking in to her hair as she held on and cried.

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Tommy had been walking down the high street. There was different music blaring out of each club. The scene was busy and people were chatting loudly and animatedly as they made their way between bars. He loved the feel of a busy street at night. There was so much excitement and anticipation.

He was just passing one of the busiest clubs, Club M. It was pretty new in town and there was much talk about its great atmosphere and music. He would have to bring Kwest here next time. Just as he passed the main doors he heard the loud horn of a car blasting through the street. Everybody was staring in the direction of the road just ahead. He carried on walking, intrigued to see what was going on. He recognized her immediately. She dropped to ground in front of the vehicle. She looked so lost and scared. He ran to her side and reached out for her. By now there was a large crowd gathering and the man in the car had jumped out.

'Did I hit her!' he was shouting panic in his voice as he to crouched at her side. 'I didn't see she just ran out!'

Tommy touched her shoulder to get her to look at him. She jumped back. She started to cry and didn't seem to know what was going on. He tried again grabbing her in close to him.

'Jude its ok. I got you. Its ok.' He whispered in her ear. He felt her grab hold of him, like she never wanted to let go. She was shaking, wearing just a thin shirt and jeans.

'I think she's ok just scared.' Tommy told the man form the car who was incredibly pale sat next to them. 'It's ok I know her, I will take her home.' Tommy said as he stood up lifting Jude easily into his arms and moving her from the road. The man offered to drive them and Tommy thought it was a better idea, as Jude could hardly stay awake in his arms. He placed his jacket over her and got in the back of the car with her still in his arms. He directed the man to his apartment as it was closer and thanked him. The man insisted it was fine and kept repeating how sorry he was.

'It wasn't your fault and she's ok, thank you, you could have just left her.'

'I wouldn't have done that. She shouldn't be out here, anything could of happened to her, she's a bit young.' The man was rambling on and Tommy said good night and headed for the main doors, a now unconcious Jude in his arms. One thing was playing in his mind. Any thing could have happened to her!

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**well there ya go. tell me what you think please!**


	13. Because there's always you and me!

**hey all. First i just wanna say thank you to everyone who is following this story and i hope you like it so far! and thankies for all your reviews and keep em coming so i know what you think!**

**so heres the next chapter lets say it together people....JOMMY!**

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Jude woke to bright sunlight flooding through her red curtains. Wait they're not red. They're black. She sat up quickly and took a sharp breath at the sudden pain in her head. The room around her was fuzzy at the edges and very bright. The white walls made her squint. Where was she? For the first time she realized she wasn't lying in her own bed. She had noticed this wasn't her room straight away. But it had only just hit her that this wasn't her bed. She heard a grunting noise to the side of her. Sat in a black leather chair in the corner of the room was a man.

He stirred again awaking from what must have been an uncomfortable sleep, in that chair. He raised his head to look at her across the room. She didn't need to see his face to know who was sat in the chair.

'Tommy?' Jude looked at him quizzical and he just smiled at her weakly and sat up properly. 'What's going on? Where am I?' her initial panic about the strange scene around her wore down the moment she knew he was there, but still she was confused. What had happened last night?

As of just thinking that to her self jogged a brain in to gear she began to recall some of the events of the previous evening. She remembered her mom, the bar, the guy, the alley. She didn't want to remember any more. Jude placed her hands over eyes to try and block the thoughts that were forming in her head.

'Are you alright?' Tommy was by the bedside quickly, perching on the edge of the bed.

'I've been better.' Jude answered feebly. She removed her hands and gave him a brief smile to show she was ok, for now. 'So how did I get here?' she had so many questions as to where she was and why was she there but thought best to start simple.

'Well I actually carried you here, personal carriage now am I?' he joked knowing that Jude had a lot on her mind. He could see it written all over her face. What had gone on last night before he found her? He was desperate to know.

'Nice Quincy, no more walking from the car to the studio for me?' she laughed lightly. This was good. Light small talk she could handle. But she knew the question she really didn't want to answer was coming.

'What were you doing last night?' Tommy looked serious now. 'Do you remember?' He sat patiently waiting for her to answer and she could tell by the look in his eyes there was no joking out of this one.

'I was...out.' she paused thinking of the easiest way to tell the story and avoided the story. He just sat silently, awaiting an elaboration. 'My moms gone.' The words she wanted to throw out strongly and unemotionally came out barely above a whisper. Her emotions betrayed her, her words cracking as she spoke them, the tears filling her eyes. She looked away from his gaze.

He heard what she had said but didn't really no what to say back. Her deep blue eyes that usually shimmered with hope and anticipation were filled with anger and pain. 'Jude' he whispered softly and pulled her into a hug.

She wasn't expecting his sudden embrace but it was comforting and warm. She felt protected, like no one in the world could ever get to her if she stayed in his arms. She felt the tears slide down her cheek and she shook lightly with silent sobs. Her mom had actually abandoned her. With everything that had happened last night and all her confusion, this still hurt the most. 'She just left.' She mumbled the words more to her self than Tommy but he heard her all the same.

After a while of just sitting and crying Jude pulled away from Tommy. She wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand. She smiled weakly and Tommy returned it.

'Thank you.'

'Any time girl.'

Tommy stood up from the bed and pulled open the curtains fully. 'Well we sort of missed breakfast…how about lunch?'

Jude pushed her legs over the side of the bed looked at the clock on the bedside table. 'One o'clock, is that really the time?'

'Yep, see someone kept me up for hours last night vomiting in my toilet.' He turned back to face her. 'You wanna talk about what else happened last night. Before you start to explain that you were just really drunk I will remind you of how I found you.' He looked deadly serious now but there was some thing else there. Worry and concern clouded his beautifully blue eyes.

'It's okay I think I remember that. And no I'd rather not talk about if that's alright.' She spoke softly, she didn't want to shut him out. He had saved her after all. But the picture of that guy's face…the smell of his breath made her want to throw up as it was. She really didn't want to replay it all to Tommy. 'Thank you for being there and err taking care of my but honestly nothing happen that you need to worry about and I'm fine.'

'I will worry though you know that right.' He was willing to leave it alone for now. She had enough to deal with by the look of it. He smiled and held a hand out to pull her up off the bed.

'You worry too much Quincy…' she took his hand and stood smiling widely at him now. 'It's nice to know some one cares.' She said in a lower voice. He hugged her tightly.

'Always' he whispered into her hair.

'Right so where are you taking me for lunch then?' Jude said back to her usual self, hoping to prove to Tommy that she was fine, even though her insides were screaming in protest.

'Parker's?' he asked heading for the door.

'Sounds good to me.' Jude said cheerily. It would be nice to get lost in routine for a bit before reality came back to get her. Then she remembered the last time she went to the café. Lunch with her father. 'Actually how about we fine some where new to try.'

'Okay.' Tommy agreed. 'But girl first shower.' He said teasingly waving his hand in front of his nose.

'Shut up Quincy.' Jude tossed a pillow at him. Tommy dodged it easily and walked to the dresser. He pulled out a shirt and tossed it across the room to her. She caught it and headed for the door. Then she remembered she had no idea where the bathroom was. Almost reading her mind, the moment she turned to asked Tommy answered.

'Straight across the hall. There are towels and everything in there you can use.'

Jude continued out the door waving over her shoulder to him and headed for the bathroom.

'Stop it or I will sing pick up the pieces to you loudly and badly and you won't be able to do anything cause your driving!' Jude threatened Tommy and laughed as she saw him lose the smug look he had.

'Okay you win!' Tommy gave in finally. For the last ten minutes of the drive he had been doing impressions of her, admittedly they were funny but he didn't need to know that.

They pulled up to the Harrison home and Jude lost the smile she had. It looked so empty, Sadie was at work, her dad had moved out long before Jude return and now her mom was gone. Jude hated being alone and that house only left her feeling scared and lonely.

'Well thanks for lunch Quincy.' Jude turned to face Tommy as he cut the engine.

'See you in the studio tomorrow?' he asked as she undid her seat belt.

'Of course…how about tonight?' Jude asked, suddenly she really needed an excuse to leave the house later. She also had a lot to get out of her system.

'If you want to girl…got some thing for me.'

'Maybe…' All Jude could think of was the alley. It was so dark and she was so trapped. She could feel herself starting to cry.

'Jude?' Tommy asked worried at her sudden change of mood.

'I'm fine, so I will meet you later?' Jude looked straight in to Tommy's deep blue eyes. She didn't know what she would do if she ever lost him. He was everything to her. No matter how much she tried to stop herself she loved him, truly. And nobody else could compare. If only he loved her back. She smiled at the thought and he smiled back at her. Never taking his eyes from hers. Before she had even thought about Jude Lent in and kissed him.

Her soft lips drove him insane, he really shouldn't do this. Tommy returned her kiss passionately. He reached round her and pulled her close. She ran her hands through his soft brown hair.

WAIT what was she doing? This can't happen! But he tastes so good and she really never wanted to let him go.

Before Jude could make up her mind Tommy pulled away from her panting slightly. 'Err…wow!' was all he said, not really meaning to say it aloud.

'I should err go. See you at the studio.' Jude got out the car as quickly as possible and all but ran to the front door. Well that wasn't what she thought she would be doing today. Damn him, Tom Quincy…she just can't get rid of him!

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**there ya go..... please review!**


	14. Never fail to disappoint!

**hey all, because it took me a while to post the last chapter i thought i would go ahead and upload another now! have fun and don't hate me hehe!!! **

**please review **

**ex's & oh's**

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It was just past six o'clock when Jude reached the studio. She and Tommy had never gotten around to deciding what time they should meet earlier but she guessed he would show up anytime after six. They had said 'tonight' after all. And if he weren't in yet she would just get to work with out him.

Jude pulled the heavy front door open and walked inside. It was pretty vacant, as most people had finished for the day. She could see Kwest in the kitchen, Tommy had probably asked him to hold on here to work on some tracks. She had her guitar with her so decided to go dump it in the studio and then go and talk to Kwest. He probably knew what the plan was for this evening.

She reached the glass door of studio A and opened it carefully, she was always clumsy and had almost broken this door more than once. Jude stopped dead in her tracks. There near the soundboard was a woman. She was wearing what in Jude's mind classed more as a belt than a skirt, with her long tan legs stretched out, her ass in the air. The woman giggled and threw back her mane of thick chocolate hair. There was a man in the chair the woman was leaning into. He was kissing her neck softly.

Jude was slightly shocked but realized she was starring, she started to retreat from the room, they hadn't noticed her yet! Who were they? Was there a new producer? She had been back a few weeks but a lot had changed when she was on tour.

Just as she was almost out of sight her foot met a loose cable. To stop her self from flying backwards her instant reaction was to reach out. This resulted in her guitar case smashing into the rack of equipment next to her. Shit!

There was a loud clatter as a lot of metal hit the floor along with Jude.

'Ouch!' was all she could think to say, rubbing her knee that had hit a rather sharp object.

'Jude' A mans voice called her from across the room.

'Tommy?' Jude just stared at him. She couldn't move. Forget the pain she had just experienced, this was far worse.

Tommy stood from his chair quickly rearranging his shirt. The brunette girl was pulling her skirt down but looked utterly unfazed by the disruption. In fact she just looked pissed. Tommy reached down to help Jude off the floor.

'Get off me!' Jude all but shouted in his face as she finally clambered up. She couldn't take her eyes off the woman in the room. The woman with gorgeous long legs and beautiful olive skin. The woman's smudged red lips. The lips that had just been on Tommy's.

'This is messed up!' Jude turned towards Tommy, desperately trying to keep the tears from falling. He just looked away, almost ashamed. More like embarrassed…probably more for her. Lil Tommy Q playboy didn't do ashamed or guilty. Jude turned and ran out the room. The tears she had tried hard to conceal fell at last, streaming down her cheeks. How could he do that to her? Who was that woman?

Nothing but questions ran through her head. Questions she wasn't sure she even wanted answers to. She headed straight out of Gmajor ignoring Kwest's shouts. She slammed the door to her car and took off out the parking lot. If she had looked in her mirror just then she would have seen him.

Tommy stood in the parking lot head in hands. What had he done? Sure he was going to tell her about his girlfriend but then she had gone and kissed him. And worse he wanted her to. She was right this was messed up. He was dating a beautiful model but all he could think about was a 17 year old high school girl. How did she get to him like that? And what was he going to do now?

Jude stopped the car and headed round the back off the old factory guitar still in hand. The tears had stopped. The anger had proceeded. Ever since the end of tour all she had thought about was coming home. Coming back to him. And ever since she had got back everything had fallen apart. She was alone, now more than ever. Jamie hated her but she couldn't understand why. Her mum had left her and now Tommy…Tommy had crushed her.

Some people may say get over it, he's just a guy. But Tommy was so much more than that. He wasn't a stupid crush, he was her everything. He was all she thought about, her inspiration, her closest friend. So he wasn't just a guy. Tommy Quincy was her love, even if he didn't know it. And if he didn't feel it then why did he kiss her back? Did he just want to mess with her? She had almost let herself believe that he could feel the same about her as she did him.

Just as a few more tears threatened to fall she stopped them. Jude had made it to the room in the back of the factory. Her room. She opened the chest and found a notebook and pencil and started to write. She had to get it out her head. Well at least some of it. So there she sat, as the room got darker around her and more candles flickered. She poured her heart onto the page. And when she was finished she promised to keep it there. Protect her heart from everybody. When you don't expect anything of any one you are never disappointed.

It was pitch black out side of the only glass windowpane. All the others were boarded up and broken. Jude pulled a blanket around her curled up on the floor and closed her eyes. She had no idea of the time but she felt exhausted. She closed her eyes and slept as the candles danced and painted pictures on the walls.

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**hope u liked it! trust me there is alot more drama on the way. and i think the next chapter is goin to be my favourite yet **

**a/n simone its in the next chapter i promise!!!! :P**

**pleaseeeee review!!!!!**


	15. Do not 'Girl' me!

**Hey all **

**first thankyou to everyone for reading and reviewing so far, i'm well happy so many of you like it. so this next bit i really love, hehe i love drama. so please let me know what you think!**

The pale blue sky was breaking over head to allow the first bright rays on sunshine light up the streets. Tommy grumbled awake rubbing his neck. Sleeping on the couch was definitely not the most comfortable idea. He had been a wake for hours last night. Mostly drinking and blasting his stereo system. He was such an idiot.

Tommy strolled into the empty kitchen grabbing a glass from the sideboard and filling it with cool fresh water. His head ached from his large consumption of alcohol and the brightening room hurt his eyes. He drained the glass and returned it to the sink and rubbed his cool hands over his face.

All he thought about all night was Jude. The look in her eyes in the studio, he didn't think he would ever forget the deep disappointment that lingered in her clear blue gaze. The tears glistened and betrayed her as they slid down her cheeks. How did he always make such a mess of things. He could have told her. He knew when he got together with Mercedes there would be problems. But Jude was away and damn he missed her. But he isn't allowed to feel that way for Jude, and as bad as it sounds Nikki was a good distraction.

When Jude returned he planned to explain to her. She knew he had flings right? How was this different? But for some reason he could never bring himself to tell her. He knew why. Things would change between them if she knew she would never have kissed him like she did. Never be as comfortable with contact. He didn't want to loose that, he needed to be close to her. Now he had gone and pushed her as far a way as possible. He had to fix this. But first he had to find her.

Tommy spent hours wandering around last night, her house, the rehearsal space, Jamie's house (a long shot he knew), Spiderman's place and even Kwest's apartment…nothing. He had called her so many times it probably officially counted as stalking. No one had heard from her, and if they had they weren't telling him. Sadie wasn't panicking when Tommy stopped by the house though, so at least she must be safe.

Jude's eyes opened then closed quickly at the harsh light. The thick layer of cloud mostly covered the sun but it was blinding non-the less. She pulled the think blanket closer around her as she shivered in the drafty room. All the events of the evening before rushed back in to her mind. She shook her head lightly. Jude finally stood up and brushed her clothes down, she gathered up the stack of notes around her and her guitar and headed out into the main room. She crawled straight out of the small opening in the factory wall and headed for her car.

When on the road she turned the radio up, Stereophonic's echoed all around her. She bobbed her head to the beat and joined in the chorus.

'_You can do all the things that you like to do_…' she smiled briefly at the words. They were right. She could and she wasn't gonna mope over Tommy Q any more. The song faded out as another took its place. It was one of her own. She listened deeply as her own powerful voice cascaded about her ears.

_Your eyes are holding up the sky  
Your eyes make me weak, I don't know why  
Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth  
I thought my heart was bullet-proof  
Now I'm dancing on the roof  
And everybody knows I'm into you_

Who was she kidding? She wasn't even close to being over Tommy. She never was. She had fallen in love with him almost two years ago and nothing else had ever compared. But she could have him and that was that. But she wouldn't keep it all to her self any more. Jude pulled up the street towards the studio. If her own song had reminded her of anything it was that getting it out there, recording that song that held all her heart. It would finally make him see. Maybe he would see the pain her caused her and the state of her broken heart.

She entered the studio and planned on getting straight into the recording booth even if she just rehearsed. But no there he was, and he saw her the moment the door opened.

Jude held her head high and crossed the lobby towards Sadie's desk.

'Hey sis. You okay?' Jude started chatting with Sadie determined not to look at him.

Tommy saw her the moment she entered. Right now was the time. He needed to explain to make her understand. Make her not hate him.

Tommy walked straight over to Jude and Sadie who were chatting quietly.

'Morning Girl.' Tommy said sweetly and calmly to Jude.

'Do not 'girl' me!' Jude all but growl at him, with out looking him in the eye. Sadie just stood back not sure if she should get involved. Jude and Tommy always had a way of sorting their problems. Even if it was in a highly dysfunctional and stubborn way.

'Jude, please can we just talk. I don't want to argue with you.' Tommy asked, keeping his tone friendly even though her reluctance to look at him was driving him mad. She was so stubborn some times, even if he was in the wrong couldn't she deal with this maturely.

Jude decided she would have to talk sooner or later, so why not get it over with. 'Fine.' She answered he looked shocked.

'Fine' He repeated. 'Err…studio A?'

Jude didn't answer him and just stomped over to the studio, she would go willingly but she wasn't gonna make this easy, not at all.

They both stood in the studio, Jude by the soundboard and Tommy lingering near the door. They were silent for a while before Tommy finally spoke.

'Mercedes is err my girlfriend.' What a great start he thought sarcastically and mentally beating himself about the head. Jude fiddled with the hem of her T-shirt, still not looking at him.

'We met about three months ago and sort of became a thing whilst you were on tour.' Tommy continued.

'I really don't need to know all this.' Jude interrupted.

'Okay, well I thought it would be better to explain it all. I never lied to you Jude I just…'

Jude laughed out loud. 'Never lied to me, never meant to hurt me, just hadn't found the right moment to tell me, which one is it gonna be this time Tommy?' Jude spat out viscously.

'Jude.' Tommy tried to calm her.

'What? You are a joke Tommy. You lied to me when you regretted to tell me you were taken. I mean come on did your girlfriend not cross your mind as our lips met.' Jude's voice literally oozed with anger all of it aimed towards Tommy.

It just hit her then. She had kissed another girl's guy. That isn't right. She hated cheaters and liars and promised herself she would never be one or a part of it. Her father had done that to her mother and her family fell apart.

'I'm such a slut.' She said mainly to herself.

'Jude you're not a slut, you never would be.' Tommy moved closer to her as her saw the pain in her face.

Jude finally looked at him, that look making him stopped in his tracks. So much hurt, so much regret and yet so lost and vulnerable.

'Your right.' Her voice shock with the sobs that threatened to come out. 'im an idiot, for falling for a bastard like you. Your slut Quincy you knew you had a girlfriend and you let me kiss you, let me believe in us, let me love you!' Jude was shouting now. She smacked her hand over her mouth, she hadn't meant for that last bit to come out.

Tommy opened his mouth to reply but couldn't. Its like all along he knew he had loved her. But he had coped with knowing he couldn't have her. But to hear it come from her own mouth…she loved him. Its like he always knew that she did but now it was different… it was out in the air now. No denying it!

Tommy couldn't form words he was just trying to sort his head out.

Jude was quietly crying now. ' I thought you were my knight in shinning armor Tommy. Turns out your just another loser in aluminum foil.'

Jude stormed past him and out of the door. Tommy just watched her go as a single painful tear slid down his cheek.

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**So there it is...tut tut tommy. thanks to simoney for the famous 'Knight in shinnig armor' line! its her creative input lol. Love you girl!**

**preview for next chapter-**

'lets not pretend like you alone tonight...i know she's there!'

'I can live without you but without you I'll be miserable at best'

**please review!**

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	16. Revelation and Realisation

**hey all sorry for the long wait! have had this chapter ready to post for the last week but internet didn't agree!! :( any way here it is i hope you like!!! please let me know what ya think. next chapter won't be too far behind either! thanks to all faithful readers your the reason i write this at all! thanks soooo much!**

**love lo**

**ex's ~&~ oh's**

ps. song is Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade, with a few changes to the lyrics so it works with the story. a really pretty song check it out!!

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Jude made it to the bathroom of the studio without drawing to much attention to her self. However Sadie seemed to have been watching the door in which she appeared from carefully since Tommy and she had entered it. Sadie entered the bathroom quietly, she knew Jude was upset. She just didn't understand what was going on. One word came to mind though 'Tommy'.

'Jude, what's up?' Sadie asked tentatively standing the other side of the only occupied stall. She heard small sobs from the inside of the toilet.

'Come on you know I can help you…' Sadie tried again.

Jude took a deep breath to compose her self more. She unlocked the door and walked straight out past Sadie to the sinks. She wiped her make up in the mirror silently. Sadie had followed her and now stood at her side, waiting.

'I'm okay Sadie.' Jude finally spoke. Her voice only slightly shook with the left over anger she held.

'Yeah I mean the storming across the room and crying obviously means your ecstatic. ' Sadie replied sarcasm pouring from her every word.

'It could!' Jude shot back, then she reminded herself that it wasn't Sadie she was angry with, and this wasn't fair. 'I'm sorry Sade's I'm a bit of a wreck right now. I don't mean to take it out on you.' Jude stared at the floor breathing deeply, she didn't want to cry over this anymore.

'Well you know where I am if you wanna talk it out.' Sadie said sympathetically, she realized Jude needed time to her self. She headed out the bathroom with out waiting for her sister to reply.

After another ten minutes or so Jude finally exited the toilets, she headed straight for the studio. She was at work so she would be the professional here. She needed to record, she also needed to get this out of her. It would make her feel ten times better it always did. It was like she couldn't face her emotions properly but when they were out there in her song she could figure it out. An added bonus was that it would hopefully make Tommy feel ten times worse…can we say UPSIDE! He deserved a bit of her pain right now.

Jude entered the small room to see Tommy sat running his hands through his hair at the soundboard. Good he was stressing over this.

'I think its about time we got to work!' she interrupted his thoughts.

'Jude…I'm sorry you're right I'm an idiot….' He started to talk.

'Stop Tommy, we are meant to be recording so let's get on with it.' With this she turned her back on him and entered the recording booth.

She grabbed an acoustic from the far corner of the room ready to start the new song. Tommy was just staring at her through the glass. She spoke in to the microphone that was already set up.

'You ready.' Normally she would have commented on his lack of enthusiasm and concentration, but today it wasn't the same. She wasn't Jude any more and he wasn't her Tommy.

'Jude Harrison untitled take one.' Was his brief reply. Good he was getting the hang off this. He was her producer and her his artist, that was all. Jude didn't begin to play however. Tommy looked at her expectantly.

'Actually it has a title.' She spoke, her voice held less authority than before; he noticed the change. She was nervous now.

'Okay..' he spoke in to the microphone on the board. He waited for her reply.

'Miserable at best- acoustic version.' She finally spoke. Tommy again saw the pain in her beautiful blue eyes. And it hurt him more than anything to know he was the cause of her pain.

'Okay Jude Harrison Miserable at Best, acoustic, take one.'

Jude began to play trying to stay composed. He needed to hear this. If they were ever going to move past this, she had to let it out. She had to let him go.

_Baby, don't cry I know your trying your hardest_

_But the hardest part is letting go_

_The nights we shared_

_You no it's haunting but compared_

_To your eyes_

_Nothing shines quite as bright_

_And when we look to the sky_

_It's not right but I want it so_

Tommy sat up a little straighter in his chair. He knew this song was going to be hard to hear he knew it would be about them. Her voice was strong but held in so much emotion, so much pain. The worst of it was the story she told, not till now did he quite realize how much he loved her and how much she loved him. Yet he had told her to basically throw it all away. He had made her think he didn't care. He was also completely stunned at the way she managed to explain all of this with such beauty and the lyrics were almost her best yet.

_Lets not pretend like your alone tonight_

_I know she's there and_

_You're probably hanging out and making eyes_

_While across the room I stare_

_But you won't get the nerve to walk the floor and ask me up to dance_

_I would say yes_

_Because these words were never easier for me to say and her to second guess_

_So I guess_

_That I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable at best_

_You're all that I'd hoped I'd find_

_In every single way_

_And everything I would give_

_Is everything you couldn't take_

_Cause nothing feels like home_

_You're a thousand miles away_

_And the hardest part of living is just taking breath to stay_

_Cause I know I'm good for something_

_I just haven't found it yet_

_When I need it…_

_So lets not pretend like your alone tonight_

_I know she's there and_

_You're probably hanging out and making eyes_

_While across the room I stare_

_But you won't get the nerve to walk the floor and ask me up to dance_

_I would say yes_

_Because these words were never easier for me to say and her to second guess_

_But I guess_

_That I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable at best_

Okay Tommy was wrong, this wasn't hard it was excruciating. Sat only perhaps a meter away from him was the most beautiful girl he had ever known. He beauty was deep and her love was deeper. And she gave it all to him. But what did he do? He threw it back at her and chose someone else. Why? Because she was just too good for him. He didn't deserve what she wanted him to have, her heart.

_And this will be the first time in a week_

_That I talk to you and I can't speak_

_It's been three whole days since I've had sleep_

_Cause I dream of her lips on your cheek_

_I got the point that I should leave you alone_

_But we both know I'm not that strong_

_And I miss the lips that made me fly_

He would fix this he had to. But maybe she was right in someway. Friends was all they should be for now. He was a mess, and she was too. What ever she said she didn't know what she really wanted yet. If they could prove to themselves that they were capable of holding it together alone maybe there was hope for someday. But right now…it just wasn't right.

_So lets not pretend like your alone tonight_

_I know she's there and_

_You're probably hanging out and making eyes_

_While across the room I stare_

_But you won't get the nerve to walk the floor and ask me up to dance_

_I would say yes_

_Because these words were never easier for me to say and her to second guess_

_But I guess_

_That I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable…_

_I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable…_

_Oooh I can live with out you but with out you I'll be miserable at best_

Jude looked up to his face. She didn't know what she would see in his eyes. What was there surprised her though. It was a strange realization that hit them both. She suddenly lost all anger she held for him. All of that had gone in to her words. Now all she had left was compassion. He found this as hard as she did, she felt like she had matured about ten years. No longer was she the girl with a hopeless crush. She was a woman, and they couldn't be together she needed to deal with that. And now she thought she could.

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**hey thanks for reading please review!!!**

**hint for next chapter- " what are you doing here ?"**


	17. Back but hiding something

**hey all sorry again for the long delay. crazy life at the moment, trying to get all my work finished to finally get to the end of my wonderful college experience. but any ways here's the newest part of when there's nothing left to say...hope you like it!**

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Jude was at home spring-cleaning. She didn't have to be in G Major until the afternoon, Sadie was already at work and her mom still hadn't returned. Jude found that she wasn't angry with her either anymore. Her dad had really wrecked her mom's life it wasn't her fault she needed to escape. Victoria had spoken to Sadie once since her impromptu departure. She had said she was so sorry to leave them. Sorry that it had come to this, but everything was breaking her being in that house. Nice way to describe their home right? But Jude had a whole new look on everything in her life right now.

She couldn't change what mistakes and feelings other people made or had so why try. Her mom did what was best for her, Tommy did what was easiest for him and Jamie did what was simplest for him so now Jude needed to do what would get her through the craziness of her life.

The doorbell rang and she chucked the cloth and polish she had on to the couch and skipped down to the hallway. She was only dressed in a really torn pair of shorts and a baggy Beatles shirt, cleaning gear. She pulled the front door open and couldn't believe what was in front of her eyes. She smiled widely and for the first time in weeks it reached her eyes. She squealed like a little girl and threw her self into the arms of the person the other side of the door.

'Hey Red!' said the tall gothic looking girl on the doorstep. She was slightly taken aback at Jude's extreme reaction.

'Patsy what are you doing here?' Jude spoke in a rather high pitch voice due to her impossible excitement.

'When did you go blonde?' Was patsy answer.

'Not long a go, now what the hell are you doing here? Why didn't you say you were in town? Where's Caleb?'

'Shall we go for 20 questions here?' Patsy laughed. She had missed her crazy friend.

'Sorry I'm just surprised. Come in explain all!' Jude moved back from the entrance to let Patsy past, slamming the door and following.

Patsy headed for the lounge she knew this house so well, she had spent most of her teen years here.

Both girls flopped on to the couch.

'So tell me everything how's life?' Jude stated. She hadn't seen her best friend Patsy in over a year. It was nice for some normality.

'Pretty good shockingly. New York's just a scream.' Patsy always had a slight sarcastic edge to her voice. Jude love it, most hated it.

'I bet super star, how's the band?'

Patsy's long term boyfriend Caleb was in an indie rock band. They had been trying to make it ever since junior year. They were all the same age, now 22. Not long after Jude won Instant Star they had finally got their chance with a new record label in the Big Apple. Patsy of course had gone with them. Jude had missed her so much. Patsy was Sadie's age, 20 but her and Jude had been the closet of friends. Jude was almost 16 when Patsy left.

'Yeah they are all good. Still over in the states working. I had a break from work so decided to visit home.' Patsy didn't seem too happy about this point. She never really got on with her family, except her brother Danny. He was probably the only the reason she bothered to come see them at all. Danny was 17 like Jude he idolized his sister. To his parents disgust. Being a musician was definitely not what they called a respected job.

'Oh well I bet that was enjoyable.' Jude joked she knew patsy hated deep conversations. She wouldn't want to discuss her family much more.

'Any way what about you? Life? Explain…' Patsy changed subject as predicted.

'Not a lot's changed. Still with G Major. Still in high school.' Patsy could tell straight a way she was lying. She knew Jude better than she knew her self sometimes.

'Come on the truth.'

Jude breathed in deeply. She had wanted for so long to just tell some one everything. With her parents she always had Tommy to talk to about it. He knew what it was like his parents split when he was young. But she could hardly discuss her Tommy issues with well Tommy. And Jamie hadn't spoke to Jude now in about three weeks. She wasn't sure if they were even considered friends anymore.

'My parents split a while back.' Jude didn't know where else to start but at the beginning of this mess. It seemed in the year and a half Patsy had been gone everything had fell apart. Patsy didn't say anything just waited patiently for Jude to continue. She could tell there was more to this. She had felt so bad when she left. Jude's life had changed practically over night. Then Patsy had gone with Caleb and Jude was left to cope. But she had had Jamie and her family.

'Yeah, he cheated on her. It was awful. But moving on now…' Jude tried to brush it off as nothing. She didn't want Patsy to feel guilty for not being around. She had her own life, her own problems.

'Stuart cheated on Vic, that's harsh and pretty messed up.' Patsy had grown up apart of the Harrison family near enough. She would never have expected this.

'Yeah, now moms gone away.' Jude couldn't explain, she felt like she was about to break in to tears. The lump in her throat made it hard swallow. Why is it that until some one says 'are you okay' you are, but as soon as you try to reassure them you break?

'Gone?' Patsy didn't quite understand. It seemed like she had missed more than she thought.

'She left. A few weeks ago. Said she could stand being here any more. Dad really messed our family up I guess…'

'Shit Jude I'm so sorry.' Patsy pulled her in to a hug. Which was unusual for Patsy. Jude cried finally. It felt good to let go with some one who wasn't involved. It felt so good to have Patsy back….but for how long?

After a few minutes Jude finally pulled her self together. She sat back on her heels on the couch and smiled weakly across to her friend.

'Sorry. I bet that's just what you want on your holiday some hysterically girl sobbing on your shoulder.' Jude laughed half-heartedly.

'Hey, I'm here if you need to talk. Part of the best friend package. Don't you forget that.' Patsy scolded, suddenly very serious. 'And I'm the sorry one for not being around. I will be more I promise. In fact I'm moving back in with the folks for a bit.'

'What?' how come?' Jude sat up sharply.

'A few reasons but I'm back in Toronto for the upcoming future.'

'Okay now truth. I know you just as well as you do me. What's going on?' Jude stared in to the other girl's dark brown eyes. She saw a flicker of pain cross her strong features then it vanished.

'Me and Caleb, we are on a break. But before you start to worry we are fine, he is really busy right now and we just needed some space. We're all good. Other than that I'm back for Danny. He's not doing so well right now. Mom's given up with him. What can I say, parents, they fuck you up.'

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**thanks for reading please review and let me know what you think! **


	18. AN Im Back!

Hey so it's been ages since I was writing this story I know. Sorry to everyone who was following, but if your still interested I think I'm going to pick it up again :] so look out for a new chapter over the next few days. And if I get time possibly two. I really liked this story and still have my plan of where it is heading so hopefully we'll get there. Plus I have some new ideas I think your going to love!

So here's hoping some of you lovely readers are still interested :D thanks guys.

Next chapter three days max I promise !!

Love Lo xxx


	19. The Poet and the Beat

**Hey so here it is the newest chapter, a little later than promised...eeeek sorry :] But here it is. I hope you like it and please review and let me know. **

**I do not own instant star, or any of it's characters. I do though own my story plot**.

**The song in this chapter is Kings of Leon- Use Somebody **

**ENJOY!**

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Monday's… just why? Nothing good ever comes from the strain and attempts of making it to class on time on a Monday. Jude spent majority of her morning in school scribbling as usual and desperate for the end of the day.

Patsy was meeting her from school to head on over to Gmajor, she was desperate for the grand tour. And grand was the word now ever since Darrius had taken over. It was full on glamour house. Jude wouldn't lie she was finding it difficult to get any thing close to work done in the studio right now. Her and Tommy were less than compatible. Actually they were kind of avoiding each other. Jude sat on her side of the glass and Tommy behind the board on his and that's the way she liked it.

Mercedes or 'Satan's Anal Bitch' as Patsy had taken to calling her, made frequent 'visits' to the studio. She'd sit in the back of the room or on Tommy's lap hanging off his every word, it was disgusting. But Jude had decided if Tommy could get over her and move on she could too. And she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it bothered her. That just wouldn't do.

The final bell of the day finally rang and Jude all but ran for the exit and the freedom promised behind the swinging doors.

Pasty was leaning gracefully as ever against her run down, old convertible. Attracting more than enough attention from the students passing her on their way home.

'Come on Blondie, I'm excited to see your fancy spot,' she called to Jude across the parking lot. 'Well that sounded just plain wrong didn't it?' she pulled a face at Jude.

'Only to Pats, you sexy bitch.' Jude stuck her tongue out her friend. She didn't know what she would have done after the events of the last week with out Patsy. She always bought out Jude's, shall we say wild side.

They made it to Gmajor and Jude gave Patsy free reign of the place while she organised herself for the recording session. Her writers block had passed pretty quickly after 'that day' and Jude wouldn't lie, she knew her new stuff was angry shit. And she hope Tommy heard that loud and clear.

Darrius was more than happy with Jude's new inspiration; her second album was well on its way and it would be a killer one at that, if she did say so herself.

Jude herself felt changed. She felt almost older. Her and Sadie were practically living alone, with their father stopping by to check on them. Unfortunately. As for their mother, no word. Other than a thirty second phone call to Sadie stating she was 'incredibly sorry' and 'perfectly safe' so 'not to worry.' Well good for her!

'Jude, you ready?' Tommy called; he smiled warmly at her. Couldn't fault the guy for lack of trying.

Jude just picked up her guitar and hit the booth. She was excited to get this one out of her head.

Patsy entered the back of the studio and pulled her biggest rock on sign through the glass, Tommy looked less than impressed at the two girls' antics. Thank God for P Sewer.

'What's it gonna be tonight girl?' Tommy spoke through the system. Jude wished for nothing more than to go back to the week after tour. Back before that disastrous kiss, and everything that followed it. But she couldn't go back. All she could do was hope for the day she would finally get over it. Get over him.

'I'm ready.' She simply said. And when Tommy gave her the signal she began to play.

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see  
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach  
You know that I could use somebody  
You know that I could use somebody

Jude looked directly into Tommy's eyes her voice deep and raspy and full of everything she would never say but could always sing.

_Someone like you and all you know and how you speak  
Countless lovers under cover of the street  
You know that I could use somebody  
You know that I could use somebody  
Someone like you_

Someone like him, but she didn't want him. Well she didn't want to want him but she was helpless to the way he got to her. And she hated him but she loved him for it. In the words of Kurt Cobain himself, 'Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.'

_Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep  
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat  
I hope it's gonna make you notice  
I hope it's gonna make you notice  
_

Tommy felt the pain and the turmoil and above all the hope. And he wished to take hold of the beautiful tortured girl in front of him and protect her from the pain and her new cynical and damaged view on love. But how could he, he caused it. All of it.

_Someone like me, someone like me  
Someone like me, somebody_

I'm ready now, I'm ready now  
I'm ready now, I'm ready now  
I'm ready now, I'm ready now  
I'm ready now

Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see.

Jude and Tommy were too a like for their own good. And as desperate as they were for each other they could often only bring each other pain_. _Tommy decided then as the last perfect note filtered in to his head. That he had to let her go and let her be. But he needed to be there for her. Jude's life was a mess and she didn't need his issues on top of all that. He was suppose to be her friend above all and he needed to get back to that. He needed to win back her trust.

**Thanks for reading make me happy and review :D**


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